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'America's Got Talent' is stringing us along

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Aaaaaah, my eyes are still burning from the gross string trick from teenage illusionist Frankie Elliston on last night’s America’s Got Talent. The two-hour bloc was a little too much “talent” for me — it seemed like there were more crummy acts-per-episode than usual, and I’m having a harder and harder time imagining any of these talents as long-form shows. How much of a kid in a Mozart costume can you watch?

Harmonik, however moving their story, broke the “no more ‘Hallelujah’ on TV,” and asking people to clap along with haunting masterpiece was just too much.

In the second hour, a performer fell off the stage, a chihuahua ran away, and a bike trickster fell and made it through anyway. (Did anyone else notice the cover of “Don’t Stop Me Now”? Was I the only one bugged by this?) The creepily adorable acrobats — sort of Cirque du Soleil Jr. — deserved to make it through, but I can’t see myself watching more than 25 seconds of Airpocalypse. The last legitimate talent of the night was indoor-kite flyer Connor Doran’s strangely hypnotic routine. Who knew kites had that kind of emotional sway?

Did anyone jump out for you, PopWatchers? Are you tired of these audition rounds yet?