I posted a pic on Twitter of Jake, Vienna, Ali and me, and somebody mentioned it must have been awkward. It really wasn’t. Ali clearly sees she wasn’t meant to be with Jake, and she and Vienna talked and got along just fine. I don’t think they’ll be sitting around doing each other’s hair any time soon but the battle is over, they are both past it. One of you asked where I am when the limos arrive and how all that works. I’m usually out there with the Bachelor/Bachelorette the entire time. I stand just outside the lights (so I can’t be seen) with some producers, our stylist and some others, and we judge each person just like you do at home. We have five different limos with five guys each inside. We’ve done this so long we’ve actually gotten pretty quick at it. We usually get everybody in the house in about an hour. Some of you noticed Ali kept rubbing her arms and wondered why. Ali and I talked about that at DWTS last week. She had noticed it too, and it drove her crazy. It was actually very cold that night and just like everyone else is on the first night, she was a little nervous.I call episode two “Cloudy With a Chance of Drama.” We’ll get to the awkward battle between Craig M and the “Weatherman” in just a bit. First, I want to answer some of your questions from the comments section, plus tell you a few things about last week. Some of you probably saw Ali and I attended the finale of Dancing With The Stars. It was interesting for me as Jake, Vienna, Ali, and Melissa Rycroft were all there.
You didn’t get to see this, but I moved the guys into the house before I talked to them about their dates at the beginning of episode two. This is actually one of my favorite times because I get to really see and meet everybody for the first time. Frank got the first one-on-one date, something that seemed simple enough, but it really stirred up some jealousy in the house. Ali and Frank’s experience started out with a cruise down the 101 Highway in a cool old car. The operative word here is old! As you saw, the car broke down on the highway. Our first thought was cut the cameras, get the car fixed, and resume the date. Ali and Frank had other plans. They said to hell with it and started walking down the highway (not a good idea) until they found an exit. They hailed a cab and continued the date on their own, leaving producers to deal with the busted-up old car. The stop at the Hollywood sign was so simple but in my opinion one of the coolest things we’ve done on this show. It’s such an iconic place we’ve all seen on TV and in the movies for decades. So, to actually be sitting right there under the sign was pretty awesome. Frank is a guy Ali pegged on night one as somebody who will go a long way in this journey. After this date, the connection between them is only stronger, and unless he self-destructs, he won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
The second date was a huge group date with 12 guys. Before I get into why this was a special group date and discuss the calendar we’ll be selling for charity, we’ve got to discuss poor Jonathan (AKA “the weatherman”) and the banana hammock he was given to wear for the calendar shoot. He was a bit whiny and complained a little too much, but I have to say… what guy wouldn’t? No guy — and I mean no guy — should wear a bikini bottom. Sorry ladies, I don’t care how hot you think some guy is, he will never look better in that little slingshot. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Jonathan also had to deal with Craig M. Wait, not yet. We’ll dive into that in just a sec… Was it just me, or was Ali’s time with Justin that night just a little awkward? It seemed like Ali was definitely feeling it, but I didn’t get the impression that Justin (“Rated R”) was really into it. Ty got the rose on this group date. Don’t give Ty too hard of a time for being that guy playing his guitar on the beach for his girlfriend. He’s a good person who means well, but I am banning all guitars from now on. So if you’re keeping track this season — we’ve got bans on guitars, and having multiple contestants named Chris.
Now let me explain why Ali took 12 guys out on the largest group date in Bachelorette history. It was all for a good cause! Celebrity photographer Michael Grecco took pics that will be featured in a calendar we’re selling for charity as part of the “Bachelor Gives Back” program. To learn more about the charities the calendar will benefit, and how to get your own calendar, go to the Bachelorette page at ABC.com.
I want to briefly talk about Jesse and Ali’s insane date to Vegas. It seemed like they had a good time but it also felt like Ali was trying to convince herself the entire time that she was into him. When you describe a guy as solid or genuine, that doesn’t exactly scream love and romance to me, but we’ll see.
Okay you’ve waited long enough; let’s talk about Craig M. Yes, he’s that guy in every John Hughes movie (look them up, kids) that stirs the pot. He’s the slick guy that drives the nice car, uses too much hair product and seems like he’s going to get the girl, but after a tough life lesson, he ends up empty handed. I have to admit I was sad to see Craig go so soon. He is such a character he’s almost too good to be true. It was probably for the best because one more night in that house and someone was going to knock him out. As tough of a time as Jonathan had with him, it was actually Jesse who almost kicked his butt. Craig made fun of Jesse’s tattoos, which happen to mean a lot to Jesse. Craig then stalked Jesse around the house and wouldn’t leave him alone. Jesse didn’t want to, but he was extremely close to dropping Craig like third-period French. Luckily for Craig, some of the other guys jumped in and calmed the situation down. Still, it was Jonathan who really got the brunt of Craig M. Craig singled Jonathan out and rode him all week, but it really came to a head when Craig went upstairs and put on Jonathan’s clothes and came back down and did a Weatherman impersonation that all the guys laughed at… all the guys except the Weatherman. He was pissed and told Craig to get the hell away from him. Tensions were higher than normal heading into the second rose ceremony. These guys realize early on that this isn’t going to be as easy as they thought.
Okay, that’s it for episode two. I’m looking forward to doing a little moonlighting for ABC this week. I’m very proud to be hosting the National Spelling Bee this Friday night (June 4) in Washington D.C. Before I sign off, I want to thank Jimmy Kimmel for having me on last week; I don’t think I’ll ever forget how to spell Fedotowsky! Oops, sorry Ali. As always, leave your lighthearted, fun, entertaining comments below. My apologies to Matt Damon for running out of room and not being able to mention him in this blog!