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Sound Bites: This week's best quotes

The funniest TV lines from the week of May 17

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”We make poison for people who don’t care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.” —Jesse (Aaron Paul), about his crystal-meth clients, on Breaking Bad

”Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but when a girl dates a straight man who impersonates her on stage for mostly gay audiences, she has certain expectations. Fidelity, Paul! It’s not just the name of a bank that sued me.” —Jenna (Jane Krakowski), to her Jenna-impersonator boyfriend (Will Forte), on 30 Rock

”I’m a problem solver. A rock & roll MacGyver.” —Bret Michaels on The Celebrity Apprentice

”Of course because I’m Latina, I’m supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!” —Gloria (Sofia Vergara) on Modern Family