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'Cougar Town' finale recap: Beach party!

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Throughout its freshman season, Cougar Town has become quite the great escape. They’ve created this tiny, inside-jokey world, presumably somewhere in Florida but seemingly on another planet, that has nothing to do with reality. Last night’s season finale was the best. The characters drank more, danced more, and were responsible for way way way less than the usual “very little.” No one went to work, except Grayson because he works in a bar. They played Ultimate Penny Can all day, group-boozed in bed all night, and set up complicated voice recordings and balloon traps in order to more emphatically make their points. Hello, dreamworld. And it wasn’t just the characters who were having a blast. That tiny scene with Jules chasing a sprinting Bobby down a gorgeous shoreline in an ATV? Totally random. Totally worth it. That part reminded me a lot of Scrubs — I’d love some more quick-hit flashbacks like that in season 2.

One of the funniest conceits about this show, to me, is that it’s so easy for the entire gang to convene anytime, anywhere. They may as well not have their own houses! At one point, Laurie and Travis were suddenly shown at the bar color-commentating on Jules and Grayson’s discussion. Of course they were sitting and snacking in the corner. Why not? I used to think I’d like to live on Planet Mirrorballus, the otherworldly atmosphere on Dancing With the Stars. But all they do on that planet is exercise. I’ve decided I’d rather settle down on Planet Douchelon, where all I would need to bring to the table is a good attitude, a bottle opener, “It’s Part of Being a Couple (Techno Remix)” as my ringtone, and a few more ways to mock Grayson for his totally pathetic (read: super hot) collection of hipster wool hats.

Amidst the hilarity and liquor was a somewhat serious issue: Jules had to figure out a way to let Bobby know that she and Grayson are officially a couple. Off course, she attempted to pass the buck, but Andy easily won that “How well do you know your friends?” game we all remember from Friends (Ellie was the Ross) so he was out. Everything works better when you have a plan, so Grayson came up with a singles-only beach bonfire that killed two beers with one stone: Not only was the party a perfect excuse to bring everyone together for a first-season last hurrah, but the sand provided a no-exit situation for Bobby, who runs away from bad news…but can’t if his entire body is buried in the sand! The sad singleton wasn’t thrilled after they told him, but everyone sat around him and chanted his name, which happens to be one of Bobby’s favorite hobbies. So that helped a lot. “No one is laughing at you,” Jules assured Bobby, but I’m pretty sure we all were because, as he helpfully pointed out, he was just a head on the beach.

FAVORITE MOMENTS

–Andy and Ellie’s game: “She wears a surgical mask and nothing else.”

–Bobby to Kylie after she’d eaten the last piece of salami: “Aw, man! I wish I could be your mouth.”

–Jules: “Let me have this, Trav. I let you have ‘girls like guys with skinny arms.'” They’re like pool cues!

–Who knows why babies do things?

–Andy’s series of answers about how well he knows Bobby: “Francis Bacon because he sounds delicious…Uncircumcised.”

–Laurie’s facial demonstration of what happens to a woman (not a girl) when the claws come out. And then Kylie: “You skinny-armed little bitch!”

–Jules re: Bobby: “He wants to make love to an Ewok!!!”

–Ellie’s Running Man. I love how she’d probably never break a sweat. Why should she? She’s Ellie.

–Bobby: “Ha, ha. I don’t have a toilet. Warm beers!”

–Barb explains what happens on a beach: “Frolicking in the waves, your privates getting sandblasted ’til they shine like a bowling trophy.”

–Ellie spoiled Teen Wolf for Andy.

–Barb’s “swimsuit” that looked like a net

–Nice continuity with the running of fingers through the hair. Travis didn’t want to do it to Kylie, but Jules and Grayson both did it to Bobby the Football at the end.

–The song playing during the beach party: “Leave Your Boyfriends Behind” by Leona Naess

I seriously need that ringtone.

How much will you miss Cougar Town for four whole months, and what will you drink to help you through it?

All ‘Cougar Town’ recaps on PopWatch

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett