“Bret, you’re aliiiiiiiive!” Oprah boomed at the beginning of today’s talk show. Recovering cowboy Bret Michaels appeared via satellite from Phoenix in his first television interview since his April 21 brain hemorrhage. He sounded fine, his royal blue bandana was pressed and thick-cut, and the cold sore he was rocking on the penultimate episode of The Celebrity Apprentice was nowhere in sight.
There was a noticeable droop on one side of his face — a rep for Michaels confirmed to Access Hollywood today that “this is a result of the hemorrhage and possibly exacerbated by some of the medications he is on” and is hopeful that with further rehabilitation, the droop will eventually go away. After a dramatic crossfade from Bret’s CAT Scan to a photograph of his real noggin, Bret told Oprah about the “thunderclap” effect of his sudden brain trauma. “It sounded like a small handgun went off in the back of my head,” said Michaels. “There was no lead-up at all. It just exploded.”
You guys. Bret Michaels even wore bandanas in the hospital bed. Oprah showed pictures. “It is like Superman without the cape,” he said. “If I go out, I wanna go out rocking.”
What was even more heartbreaking than Bret’s account of his terrible sadness following the trauma was a tear-jerking check-in from Bret’s nine-year-old daughter, Raine. (I was picturing Stephen Colbert screaming “Raiiiiiiiin!” the whole time.) Testimonials from Donald Trump and fellow Celebrity Apprentice contestants produced less visible waterworks in Bret, though he did dramatically wipe one eye a few times.
Bret told Opes that during his reign of prayer in recent weeks, he told God, “I know I’ve done a lot of rotten things. I’m asking for a break here. I promise I’ll be better in the future.” Does God smile upon the world of reality TV? It is so hard to tell these days; some of its landscape still contains so many gems. Anyway, Bret will be at this Sunday’s live reunion show after the Celebrity Apprentice finale. He might also win, if Trump’s master plan to sabotage him somehow falters. You can’t fool us with your convincing Oprah interviews, Trump! We all saw you bring back Darryl Strawberry to “help” Bret in the final challenge!
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett