Ever wonder what Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha were like when they wore Pampers instead of Prada? You’re in luck! The writer-director behind the SATC movies offers this ”screenplay” featuring tiny versions of the fab foursome. Also check out King’s reimagining of the franchise as a noir murder-mystery, and pick up this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly for an SATC set in a postapocalyptic (but still glamorous!) Manhattan, circa 2040.
SEX AND THE CITY 2: THE PREQUEL
EXT. ”HAPPY BABY DAY CARE CENTER” — DAY
The sun is shining.
INT. HAPPY BABY DAY CARE CENTER
A room full of 2-year-old babies playing. Cheery walls, colorful children’s artwork on display. On a pink play mat in the corner of the room sit: BABY CARRIE, BABY CHARLOTTE, BABY MIRANDA, and BABY SAMANTHA…who is happily sucking on her bottle.
BABY SAMANTHA Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.
BABY CARRIE We get it. You like milk.
BABY SAMANTHA Nonfat, low-fat, skim milk, whole milk, buttermilk…
BABY CHARLOTTE Buttermilk. Ewwww.
BABY SAMANTHA Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
Baby Carrie glances over at Baby Miranda, who is looking sad.
BABY CARRIE What’s happening over there, Miranda?
BABY MIRANDA The day-care man never picks me up.
BABY CARRIE That’s not true. I’ve seen him pick you up.
BABY MIRANDA Once. And only when he had to ’cause I made a doodie in my pants.
BABY SAMANTHA Well — be more aggressive. Spit up on him. It works for me.
BABY CHARLOTTE I’m saving my spit-up for a really handsome day-care worker.
BABY MIRANDA Shhh — here he comes.
A HANDSOME MALE DAY CARE WORKER approaches them — seen only from the knees down.
BABY CARRIE (VOICE-OVER) As we watched the day-care worker approach, I couldn’t help but wonder — is any man really worth spitting up for?
The man puts a very cute, dark-haired LITTLE BOY on the play mat next to Carrie. The little boy looks at Carrie — his eyes twinkle.
BABY CARRIE (V.O.) And that’s when I saw him for the first time…Mr. Little.
Baby Carrie spits up on herself. Still adorable.