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Sound Bites: This week's best quotes

The funniest TV lines from the week of April 26

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”Sir, I think that there’s a lot about this world that we don’t understand, like the afterlife…or how bread turns into toast.” —Kenneth (Jack McBrayer), to Jack, on 30 Rock

”Was there a twister in Kansas? ‘Cause there’s a house in my driveway!” —Phil (Ty Burrell), after his father appears at his home in an RV, on Modern Family

”This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I’m trying to make her anorexic.” —Kelly (Mindy Kaling) on The Office

”I look at him and I’m like, I want to punch you for some reason.” —Maria Kanellis, talking about her irrational hatred of fellow contestant Curtis Stone, on The Celebrity Apprentice

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