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BREAKING: Kim Kardashian does not enjoy the company of burritos!

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Kim-Kardashian-burrito

Image Credit: Janet Mayer/PR Photos; John E. Kelly/FoodPix/Getty ImagesKim Kardashian took to her blog yesterday to fight back against a story in the National Enquirer that said she was caught in flagrante burrito on a recent airline flight. “First of all, I absolutely hate burritos!” the woman often seen on magazine covers explained. “Secondly, I have never brought Mexican food on a plane. This never happened and these quotes made me laugh so much…This is just hysterical!” Um, Kim Kardashian, what’s with such shocking information, so casually disseminated? Does not like burritos? Does not understand. Naturally, I must work through my conflicted feelings in poetry form.

On Kim Kardashian and Her Rejection of a Tasty Dish

Kim Kardash does not eat burritos

I object, I must raise a veto

Beans and cheese, tortilla and meat, oh

Too delish! She can’t take the heat, oh

She does not eat them on a plane

Apparently not on a train

But in the dark? Her secret shame?

I wish, I hope, but do not blame

For if the lady doth not feast

On these delights like a hungry beast

If her appetite for Mex has ceased

There’s more for me, to say the least

(Follow my ridiculousness on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak.)