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May Sweeps Scorecard: Deaths! Pregnancies! Firings! Weddings! OMG!

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annual-may-sweepsImage Credit: Mario Perez/ABC; Mary Ellen Matthews/NBC; Giovanni Rufino/The CW; Patrick Ecclesine/Fox; David M. Russell/CBSAs the season nears its end and plots start twisting faster and faster, you could let the suspense of it all get to you. (I did once. Wasn’t pretty.) Or you can make a game of your anticipation by attempting to guess what’s going to happen and to whom. If you choose the latter (and trust me, you want to), I’ll even help! Below is my annual list of near-spoilers—all of which will come to pass in May, generally during finales. Oh, and it bears mentioning that, in spite of what you may have heard from me, I don’t know everything. As a result, there still might be a surprise or two that isn’t on this list. But it should at least be thorough enough to keep your crazy focused. FYI: The events apply to regular or recurring characters, not random guest stars. Also, the chart will be continually updated to ID the person (or people) connected to each milestone shortly after said milestone takes place or to increase the tally as new information becomes available. In other words, beware of spoilers!

Number of weddings: 2

1. May 6: Angela and Hodgins/Bones

2. May 20: Bunch of folks on 30 Rock

Number of couples having sex for the first time: 6

1. April 28: Jules and Grayson/Cougar Town

2. May 6: Jeff and Britta/Community

3. May 11: Silver and Teddy/90210

4. May 13: Ben and Bailey/Grey’s Anatomy

5. May 13: Sam and Addison/Private Practice

6. May 17: Chuck and Jenny/Gossip Girl

Number of shocking pregnancies: 3 (only one of which is blind item-related)

1. May 11: Jen/90210 (not the blind item)

2. May 17: Georgina/Gossip Girl (the blind item!)

3. May 20: Avery/30 Rock

Number of not-so-shocking pregnancies: 2

1. May 17: Haley/One Tree Hill

2. May 20: Meredith/Grey’s Anatomy*

* since miscarried

Number of babies born: 6*

1. May 5: Dakota/The New Adventures of Old Christine

2. May 13: Maya delivers/Private Practice

3. May 16: Lynette delivers/Desperate Housewives

4. May 17: Dorota delivers/Gossip Girl

5. May 18: Valerie delivers/V

6. June 8: Quinn delivers/Glee

* one of the four technically occurs in June

Number of confirmed fatalities: 21*

1. May 3: Dana/24

2. May 4: Sun/Lost

3. May 4: Jin/Lost

4. May 4: Sayid/Lost

5. May 4: Dom/NCIS: LA

6. May 10: Rebecca Nevins/CSI: Miami

7. May 13: Dell/Private Practice

8. May 13: Anna/The Vampire Diaries

9  May 13: Johnathan/The Vampire Diaries

10. May 14: Tess/Smallville**

11. May 16: Robert/Brothers & Sisters

12. May 16: Patrick/Desperate Housewives

13. May 18: Charles Widmore/Lost

14. May 18: Zoe/Lost

15. May 18: Valerie/V

16. May 20: Charles/Grey’s Anatomy

17. May 20: Reed/Grey’s Anatomy

18. May 20: William Bell/Fringe

19. May 23: The Smoke Monster/Lost

20. May 23: Jack/Lost

21. May 24: Stephen Bartowski/Chuck

* Excludes final minutes of Lost series finale

**Character will be reincarnated next season.

Number of deep, dark family secrets exposed: 1

1. May 16: Baby switch/Desperate Housewives

Number of possible fatalities: 20

1. May 12: Chris/Mercy

2. May 12: Mike/Mercy

3. May 12: Jeremy/The Vampire Diaries

4. May 13: Oliver/Smallville

5. May 16: Holly/Brothers & Sisters

6. May 17: Clay/One Tree Hill

7. May 17: Quinn/One Tree Hill

8. May 17: Chuck/Gossip Girl

9. May 19: Melinda/Law & Order: SVU

10. May 20: Langston/CSI

11. May 24: President Logan/24

12. May 24: Calleigh/CSI: Miami

13. May 24: Ryan/CSI: Miami

14. May 24: Jesse/CSI: Miami

15. May 24: Natalia/CSI: Miami

16. May 24: Walter/CSI: Miami

17. May 25: Jackson/NCIS

18. May 26: Danny/CSI: NY

19. May 26: Lindsay/CSI: NY

20. May 26: Lucy/CSI: NY

Number of resurrections and/or shocking returns: 6

1. May 13: Katherine/The Vampire Diaries

2. May 13: Sam/Supernatural

3. May 13: Charlie/Fringe

4. May 16: Paul/Desperate Housewives

5. May 17: Shaw/Chuck

6. May 24: Mary Elizabeth Bartowski/Chuck

Number of guest appearances by Mayim Bialik: 2

1. May 9: ‘Til Death

2. May 24: The Big Bang Theory

Number of firings and/or resignations: 6

1. May 11: Cary/The Good Wife

2. May 11: Hetty/NCIS: LA*

3. May 13: Senor Chang/Community

4. May 20: Mark/Parks and Recreation

5. May 20: Kenneth/30 Rock

6. May 24: President Taylor/24

*temporary

Number of folks who’ll fall off the wagon: 2

1. May 18: Ryan/90210

2. May 20: Mark/FlashForward

Number of engagements: 2

1. May 13: Charlotte and Cooper/Private Practice

2. May 17: Julian and Brooke/One Tree Hill

Number of breakups: 13

1. May 6: Callie and Arizona/Grey’s Anatomy

2. May 7: Lois and Clark/Smallville

3. May 13: Mark and Ann/Parks and Recreation

4. May 13: Michael and Donna/The Office

5. May 16: Orson and Bree/Desperate Housewives

6. May 17: Nate and Serena/Gossip Girl

7. May 17: Lucas and Cuddy/House

8. May 17: Beckett and Demming/Castle

9. May 18: Naomi and Liam/90210

10. May 20: Cristina and Owen/Grey’s Anatomy

11. May 20: Jack and Nancy/30 Rock

12. May 20: Daisy and Sweets/Bones

13. May 24: Robin and Don/How I Met Your Mother

Number of momentous kisses: 6

1. May 14: Lois and Clark-The Blur/Smallville

2. May 17: House and Cuddy/House

3. May 20: Annie and Jeff/Community

4. May 20: April and Andy/Parks and Recreation

5. May 20: Peter and Olivia/Fringe

6. May 23: Jack and Kate/Lost

Think you can match the season-ending events with the shows they take place on? Take your best shot in the comments section! Oh, and you shouldn’t necessarily read anything into the photo collage above.

TV scoop is best served instantaneously, so follow me on Twitter at @michaelausiello

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