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'Vampire Diaries' recap: The hunger

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Vampire-Diaries-Control

Image Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CWIt’s unfortunate that Stefan’s detox didn’t simply involve the continuation of workouts while wearing a wifebeater. That, for 28 days, would have been a win-win for everyone. Instead, he tried to drown his thirst for human blood in the bottle, and that was good for no one. Drunk Stefan wasn’t even a good dancer.

Other big revelations this episode:

• Stefan is out of control, but not in a hot way. After fighting his natural urges — which included recreating the Twilight propel-yourself-off-the-bed-and-into-a-wall-after-a-steamy-kiss scene, licking his fingers covered with the blood of Matt’s mother, and roughing up an a-hole with bad manners and worse timing — Stefan drank human blood again. Damon, who couldn’t understand why his brother wouldn’t just drink from a blood bank, left him a tumbler for the second time and Stefan could no longer resist. It’s like me when I eat lunch at this restaurant that offers $3 mango margaritas during the week. I know I shouldn’t, but I must. It’s a little sad, because he’d finally admitted to Elena that he had a problem. But as I said last week, that character can’t always just be decent. Otherwise, I’ll only want to talk about Damon, which I’m about to do now…

• Damon continued to be the kind of person/vampire you’d want to consume $3 mango margaritas with. (I love that vampires can get drunk in the Vampire Diaries world.) Favorite moment: A tie between when Elena called him over to discuss Stefan’s situation and he held her teddy bear and went through her bra drawer, and when he caught Stefan up on the evening’s events at the umpteenth founder’s celebration. “Do you wanna hear the bad news or the really bad news?…. Okay, let me rephrase. Do you want to hear how the council is back in vampire mode or how I just killed Uncle John Gilbert?…. Great party by the way, huh?” And he turned and was off. Another beautiful delivery by Ian Somerhalder.

• Uncle John Gilbert knows Isobel. I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually seen actor David Anders since he played Sark on Alias — I don’t watch Heroes and 24 — but the man makes enough of an impression that you remember him. I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be good or evil. (Even Caroline’s cop mom thinks he’s a jackass.) He waltzed into town because he doesn’t want Aunt Jenna to sell his brother’s office — had she told him it was to a woman named Pearl, who has a daughter named Anna? I wonder why we found out that he and Jenna used to sleep together (assuming he wasn’t joking): Just as a way to make it clear that he was related to Elena’s father not her mother, because he’ll try to seduce her away from Alaric to keep her under his thumb, or because it’s just fun? John told the council about all the blood bank robberies and missing persons within a 75-mile radius of Mystic Falls. Then, he told Damon that he knew he was the one who’d let the vampires out of the tomb. TWIST! Damon walked away, but used his supervampire speed to come back and snap John’s neck, then threw him to the ground. AWESOME! Of course, we weren’t surprised when John walked back into the party. Damon pointed out to Alaric that John was wearing a ring like his, and the two of them confronted him. John said there were two rings: One he inherited, which he’d given to Isobel, who gave it to Alaric; the other was his brother’s, which he now wears. (So did Elena’s dad give him the ring or did he take it?) If John knew Isobel, and sent her to Damon when she said she wanted to be a vampire, does that mean he’s linked to Isobel now? Why did Isobel really want to become a vampire? So confused! What we know for certain: John knows all about Alaric and the Salvatore Brothers, and if they kill him, everything will be revealed to the council. So, he’s safe. Even with my head spinning, I’m happy about Uncle John’s arrival. Anders can definitely go toe-to-toe with Somerhalder.

• Jeremy now knows presumably everything about what went down with Vicki because Elena stupidly wrote it all down. Jeremy became suspicious after Vicki’s death was ruled an overdose, which he thinks is weird since someone took the time to bury her and he knows vampires do exist. Elena tried to talk him down and only made him more suspicious. That’s when he searched her room and found her diary. Why didn’t he just confront her that night?

• Matt’s mom is more of a cougar than we thought. What was the purpose of bringing Matt’s mother back to town? After Matt caught her making out with Tyler at the Founder’s Party (saw that coming), he told her he wants her out of his house and life by morning. Did she really just return for a bunch of little moments: driving a wedge between Caroline and Matt, making out with Damon, getting Tyler in trouble with his dad (who struck him again), fueling Stefan’s hunger so he’d go off on the guy who was rude to Elena on the dance floor? I guess what I’m saying is, I thought for sure she’d die. Fingers still crossed she bites it on her way out-of-town.

Your turn. What did you think of the episode? Have any theories you’d like to share? Did you enter an alternate universe where Stefan is fun, or are you still waiting for the series to take you there?

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