Remember when the Glee cast went on Tyra and I live blogged the HUGE EVENT just for the hell of it? Me neither; I blacked out and then suddenly a PopWatch item appeared! Anyway, I’m about to do the same thing for Glee on Oprah. Who knows where thoughts come from; they just appear. Break out your microphones and Vancouver Winter Olympics/McKinley High School pom poms and join me after the jump for the East Coast telecast at 4 p.m. (Today’s segments are already available at Oprah.com, but you know I prefer a liiiiiiiiive experience — the more delusional, the better.) Everyone ready? Destination: horror!
3:00 p.m. Gotta get a slushie. BRB.
3:34 Couldn’t find a slushie so it’s pizza.
3:45 Remy, I love you too. Madd, I was just going to throw the slushie on myself. Look at this post so far. I deserve it.
3:57 Anyone/everyone is allowed to like or dislike Glee, you guys. And I’ll let you in on a secret: Even those of us who really like it KNOW it’s ridiculous. Hence…we like it. Shhhhhhh.
4:00 It’s STAAAAAAAART-IIIIIIIIIIIING!
4:01 Oh god, a real live Show Choir? Painful flashbacks to junior high.
4:02 These rabid Gleeks are freaking Oprah out. It’s great!
4:03 If you ever tell anyone this I’ll deny it, but I like working at EW.
4:03 It’s always disconcerting to see clips of Jane Lynch with feathery hair.
4:04 THE CAST IS ON THE STAGE, singing “Somebody to Love.” Lea and Cory always look like they’re about to claw each other’s faces off (instead of tear each other’s clothes off, or maybe both?)
4:05 Digging the spotlights when they’re all rainbow-y.
4:05 YES. AMBER RILEY. Putting Siobhan Magnus to shame?
4:06 Love how even though Oprah’s terrified of the fans, she’s standing all up in their crazy.
4:07 Later on, Jane Lynch will do a satellite interview. That’s an interview. Via satellite.
4:08 Moving forward, any time I use the word singing you can just apply your own air quotes.
4:10 Slushie facial fan is 24?! I call shenanigans.
4:11 Obligatory fist pump from Cory.
4:12 Sad that some of the cast don’t get to sit at the grownups’ table.
4:13 Lea: “I can say I’m a lot like Rachel…and I think she’s amazing.”
4:14 Jenna Ushkowitz CleavageWatch whenever Cory Monteith is speaking.
4:15 Oprah trumps Cabo, says Amber. It’s an honor.
4:16 I would really rather go to Cabo. I’ll have to juggle all my offers!
4:17 Amber’s mother, Tiny, gets the Oprah “HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”
4:19 Right now they’re just talking about their jobs. It’s really tough, but it’s so much fun. It’s so time-consuming, but it’s really worth it. People think I’m pregnant, but I’m not! Etc.
4:21 Commercial. If you missed it on April Fool’s Day, I ranked Sue Sylvester’s 18 Best Tracksuits in this fashion-forward photo gallery. It was no laughing matter.
4:24 Related: 20 Outrageous Sue Sylvester Quotes. I always forget about “druids and trolls”!
4:25 Jane Lynch gets her own BUMPIN’ INTRO MUSIC. “My target demo is 16-year-old boys. They didn’t like me when I was 16!” And now the hip people are accosting her in coffee shops by saying “heeeeeeey.”
4:26 “Anybody else here made fun of in high school?” Don’t let Oprah down, guys.
4:28 Oprah gets an “all-excess” pass to the set. Heather Morris was late that day. Okay, this practice space is hilarious. It’s like a weight room, but a theater? With steps?
4:29 Chris Colfer shows off his new Cherrios uniform. Kevin McHale can hula-hoop! No one can say Neil Patrick Harris’ name without yelling it. “Don’t hate me when you watch the show,” begs NPH the villain.
4:30 I never noticed those creepy gummy cheerleader figurines on Sue’s desk.
4:31 “Yes, we do all of our own singing” (in the studio), Amber assures us.
4:32 Up next: Matthew Morrison break dances in the middle of an A-ha video or something.
4:36 Oprah sings her own stuff too: “Gleeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
4:37 Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy: “When you get older, you find out that the difference in you is the best thing.”
4:38 Murphy just called Lea Michele “the next Barbra or Patti LuPone.” Is she crying yet? I can’t tell. Show her mom again!
4:39 Matthew Morrison brings out one of the show’s big-hitters (in terms of dancing): Harry Shum Jr. (Mike Chang a.k.a. “Other Asian”). Oh, boy, are they dancing. I half expect Cat Deeley to appear out of nowhere and chirp, “It’s Twitch!”
4:44 The cast surprised the John Burroughs High School show choir during a rehearsal. Pretty please come to perform on Oprah? They freak out. I love the weird dude in glasses. Morrison: “We’ve got some criers.” Aw, tears are so much better when they’re real.
4:46 STRIKE A POSE. Oh this is delish. The John Burroughs show choir is reinterpreting Madonna’s “Vogue” performance from the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards, but with even more skirt-whirling if you can believe that!
4:52 I have an overwhelming urge to GET UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR (heart swell/chills whenever I hear that line even though I can’t dance) but I think I’ll just continue to sit here.
4:53 Oprah gifted the choir a new piano. Hope you weren’t hoping for Caribbean cruises.
4:54 Oh. Well, $100,00 thanks to Dove is pretty good, too.
4:56 The cast of Glee signed a pledge to never text while driving. I wanted them to immediately break into a rendition of the hit Big Fun single “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It!)” from Heathers, but instead the cast simply waved and smiled and now the show is over.
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett