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Dan Snierson's Hit List

10 hot topics for the week of April 4, 2010

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1. Mike Myers working on fourth Austin Powers film
Set in mid-2008, Austin must stop an oddly groomed villain (alias: The Love Guru) before he destroys all the laughter in the world.

2. Oscar winner Frances McDormand and Oscar nominee John Malkovich to star in Transformers 3
Spike Video Game award winner Megan Fox nabs first Coen brothers role, balances universe.

3. Horse named after Radiohead may run the Kentucky Derby
Eh. I liked him better when he was racing at smaller venues.

4. Chlo√ę Sevigny calls Big Love’s fourth season ”awful” in interview, later says quote was taken out of context and apologizes
Anyone have the name of a good polygamist polygrapher?

5. Police want to interview Suge Knight about assault and robbery of rapper Yukmouth
Let me say that I believe Suge Knight is 100 percent innocent. Let me also say that I have this weird hangup about being dangled from hotel balconies.

6. Perez Hilton to launch music radio countdown show with cheeky interviews
He says the hardest thing will be teaching himself to yell SLUT! and AMAZEBALLS! at the musicians during the interviews instead of drawing the words on their faces.

7. Popeye 3-D film in the works
Really hoping they don’t go with the tainted-spinach plot.

8. James Cameron slags Glenn Beck as ”dangerous” and ”poisonous,” challenges him to debate about environment
Rising sea levels: result of melting icebergs or Beck’s crocodile tears? Discuss.

9. Tiger Woods shoots new commercial for Nike, prepares for return at Masters
Good to have you back swinging, buddy.

10. At the Movies, once hosted by film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, canceled after nearly three decades
Thumbs lowered to half-mast.