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'The Real Housewives of New York' recap: Bethenny and Jill spar

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Image Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/BravoOf course Jill has a psychic she’s been seeing for years. This comes as no real surprise. And of course, when she arranged for LuAnn to meet said psychic LuAnn must unnecessarily demand a kiss on each cheek. And of course, there is then spouting of a bogus revelation when the psychic wonders about the possibility of a new soulmate for LuAnn — someone whose first name begins with the letter “J” perhaps. Turns out LuAnn is seeing someone whose name begins with J. (Let’s all indulge for a second and pretend LuAnn’s new paramour is Bethenny’s original Jason, and that he’ll turn the knife by gleefully moving into LuAnn’s Hamptons beach house. No fear of commitment when it comes to royalty!)

Oh LuAnn. How her ego did swell when her startlingly lovely daughter Victoria mentioned that her guy friends thought she was hot. LuAnn, acting 14 years old herself, pumped her daughter for more information like a teenager would ferret out  the details of a sighting of a crush at the mall. LuAnn is a goof, and a vulnerable one. I give her points though. At the fashion show, attempting to explain Jill’s case to Bethenny, I found her rather diplomatic and restrained. She wasn’t out to make trouble, and she looked great in her jeans. Good on you, LuAnn. For your efforts, Bethenny called you a snake next week!

As the mother of a toddler, I’ve come to believe that most behavioral problems can be solved by a good nap. Bethenny should try it. I like her very much, and applaud all her successes. But if I could give her a one-sheet on room for character improvement, it would look like this:

1) Less hot dog casing dresses.

2) Don’t lacerate your boyfriend’s friend, who seemed like a good enough egg, and whose accent really wasn’t deserving of scorn, in front of an entire party. Not nice.

3) I say this with fondness, but shut up every now and then. When Jill told Bethenny her feelings were hurt about that admittedly scathing voice mail message, Bethenny let loose a verbal fusillade. She starts talking loud and fast and mean when she’s on the defensive. It’s exhausting, for everybody involved. Jill’s husband had CANCER this summer. (Three cheers for his A+ health report!) Don’t send flowers. Don’t attack Jill for having her feelings hurt. Shut your trap and give her a bear hug and invite them out for champagne.

It seems the impossible rift between Bethenny and Jill is going to be the thruline of the season. Which inevitably means less air time for Simon. I’m not sure this is a bad thing, as something seems amiss with our freckled friend. Is he simply more subdued? Why do I feel like there is a new angry edge to him? I miss the oblivious, ridiculous goofball from seasons past. Alex, who seems to have more fight in her this season, brought her “day gay” to a fashion party. Simon made a joke that he was Alex’s “night… GUY.” Come on Simon, you can do better than that!

Kelly is still acting reasonably sane, though still spouting her unique brand of logic. On the difference between Bethenny posing nude for PETA and Kelly stripping down for Playboy, she got deep on us: “It’s not like you’re POSING NUDE,” she said of a Playboy shoot. “You’re POSING NUDE for the most infamous book in the world.” So in conclusion, you’re posing nude.

That Teddy is one cute kid and boy does she have her mother’s number!

What did you all think? Did you tear up when Jill got misty after Bobby hung up with his doctor? How would you mend this broken friendship? How badly does LuAnn want to pose in Playboy?

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