If there’s something more magnificent than being frozen in carbonite á la Han Solo, I don’t know what it is. A terrific 30 Rock? Well… maybe porn for women, fidelity complexes, and Wesley Snipes. No, a different Wesley Snipes. These were the 10 best lines from “Don Geiss, America, and Hope.”
“Not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting, more like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting…” — Jack, who just whipped a battery at Liz
“He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!” — Jack, who knows Legoland is no match for the Bruins
“My addiction to prescription glasses! The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor– Jack, your shoes are shiny!” — Tracy, whose Ben and Jerry’s flavor is Adulteraisin
“I’m British and charming, and she’s got… angles… that work for her.” — Wesley, who hates Cathy cartoons
“It’s like a black Barbie doll in Arizona! Nobody’s buying it!” — Tracy, who was supposed to ride on a Cinco de Mayo float with John Edwards
“Assatar? The Lovely Boners?The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel ‘Tush’ by Assfire?” — Jack, who’s the reason the microwave tray rotates
“…commencing eyeroll sequence…” — Liz, who knows from a Lizaster
“At one point my obituary was going to read ‘CEO of GE dies violently in casino orgy’!” — Jack, who’s settling
“What if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had porn for women?” — Jack, who’s ready to make
“I’ll see you in May! For sweeps! That what’s we call spring cleaning in England!” — Wesley… Snipes
All that and Kenneth playing the organ? Win, win, win, a thousand times win.
What did you think, PopWatchers? Are you like Hilary from Fresh Prince?