Bam! We’re down to 11! Or, in other words, after tonight’s not terribly suspenseful American Idol results show, we’re a mere 20 episodes away from naming Kris Allen’s successor. [WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD, west-coast readers!]
Poor, sweet Lacey Brown — suffering the indignity of being the first ejected from the back of the season 9 bus, and then performing to try to win a Judges’ Save that was never gonna happen. (Heck, not even Ellen could pretend that anyone in the bottom three deserved it.) And while it was nice that Lacey didn’t have to repeat “Ruby Tuesday” (the performance that the Idoloonie nation rejected) and instead got to repeat her high watermark (“The Story”), if I’d been in her boots, I’d have demanded Bandzilla play “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” and changed up the lyrics (to “make it my own”) as follows:
I can’t get no Idol tour spot
I say “Goodbye, Idol Swaybots.”
‘Cause I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried.
I can’t get no, I can’t get no.
When you’re watchin’ your TV,
and Ryan comes on to tell thee
the codes for AT&T.
Well he can’t be a judge ’cause he doesn’t work
with a band that’s called Journey.
I can’t get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say.
But hey hey hey, that’s not how it went down. Instead there were tears, there were hugs. Miraculously, there was no lipsynched group number that tore at my soul like a pack of pitchfork-wielding demons presiding over a very bad man in hell. But in its place, there was an awesome educational performance by David Cook that will hopefully help the current crop of wannabes (and that lady with the dancing tee-vees behind her) understand what it means to always take the Idol stage like it could be your last opportunity to perform in front of 25 million people. Rock on with your bad self, Cookie!
Anyhow, to recap:
Paige Davis Miles
Lacey Doily Brown
Paige Miles Davis
On that note, it’s time for me to get rolling on my full TV Watch recap, which will post early tomorrow morning on EW.com. In the interim, why don’t you head to our message boards and share your own feelings about tonight’s results. And don’t forget to do one or more of the following: press play below to view our latest episode of Idolatry (featuring my stellar cohost Kate Ward); sign up to follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak; and reacquaint yourself with season 4 semifinalist Aloha Mischeaux. (Oh yeah, folks, sometimes you gotta go farther back than seasons 7 and 8. And Aloha’s “They Be On Me” is my jam!)