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Breaking news: Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are really, really rich

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Forbes just compiled their yearly list of the world’s richest people, and it contains some pretty non-shocking revelations: Steven Spielberg (pictured, left) and George Lucas (pictured) are each worth approximately eighteen quadrillion dollars. (The actual number is $3 billion, but once you get into Scrooge-McDuck-swimming-in-gold-coins territory, we stop counting.) Also very, very wealthy: Oprah ($2.4 billion). No duh, Forbes. That’s like telling us that us that Angelina Jolie is, objectively speaking, rather pleasant-looking.

What’s actually surprising is the fact that these media moguls’ fortunes don’t even put them in the top 30 richest people in the world. Oh, wait. Did I say 30? I meant THREE HUNDRED. Spielberg and Lucas are tied for No. 316, while Winfrey lands at a humiliating 400th place. If this were the Kentucky Derby, she would’ve come in just behind the guy riding Eeyore. For shame, O. The list’s actual toppers? Mexican money magnet Carlos Slim Helu ($53.5 billion) and some dorky-sounding dude named William Gates III ($53 billion).

Check out the full list and let us know what else surprised you.