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'Cougar Town' recap: Counting on Andy

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In this week’s Andy-centric episode of Cougar Town, the man with a churro hole for a mouth (according to his wife) got his very own motorcycle! Grayson, Jules, and Laurie, to your right, are reacting to his head-to-toe leather biker getup, which was almost as hot as his boxers-only policy while wearing a Snuggie. Everyone wore Snuggies, by the way, for a group meeting at the beginning of the show. They really did seem like a cult, and I loved how the women each wore a different shade (violet for Jules, pink for Ellie, cheetah print for Laurie, of course) while the men all had to wear the standard royal blue. I’m pretty sure Jules called them “Fluffies” at one point instead of Snuggies or Slankets. A good name for their cult, by the way, might be Morning Intruders.

But back to Andy’s hog. Andy missed his freedom. “I never have any time for just me,” whined Andy as he drank coffee while not working or being with his family. After Andy and Ellie got into a more significant fight than usual, he threatened to stay away for a few days until Jules snapped some sense into him and roared him back to a ludicrous dance recital for Andy and Ellie’s 1-year-old (who was conceived on Jules’ kitchen island). Meanwhile, Grayson threatened violence against new nerd-neighbor Tom if he tried anything with Jules, then resorted to the old passive-aggressive “boot down the chimney” technique instead. Bobby reluctantly took Travis on a manly fishing trip, where they disagreed over the general worth and humor value of ducks.

Gay trap tally: Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings,” fuchsia, charades, Indigo Girls’ “Closer to Fine,” and that conservative blonde girl who’s always getting into fights on The View.

Can men and women be friends? Sure, but, as in Jules and Grayson’s case, it’s best if air quotes are employed to illustrate the “friends” part, and if the “friends” part is accompanied by a sexual undercurrent. In other words, if the guy wants to water your flowers a la narrow-shouldered neighbor Tom. I can’t believe Jules’ follow-up (“Are the flowers on my face?”) made it through.

Favorite lines:

“I’m sorry, it’s just so good!” (re: red wine; Jules to Ellie after Andy tells Ellie he’ll be staying on the boat for a few days)

“Feels good to have a lot of power between your legs, doesn’t it? Motorcycles are fun, too.” (Barb, who follows Jules around just so she can say things)

“I don’t have tiny eyes” (Grayson — the cut to him was hilariously abrupt, and then Laurie followed up with a nonchalant “You look like a ferret.”)

Relatable moments: Laurie being way ahead of Andy’s suggestion to tweet what’s happening, Jules’ love of wearing sexy underwear until 4 o’clock when she realizes no one’s gonna see it, and the way Ellie takes sleeping pills but then tries to “fight it” and stay awake.

Wow, aren’t we all such cool chicks?!

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Image credit: Randy Holmes/ABC