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Sound Bites: This week's best quotes

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”We’d be slower with our pants around our ankles.”—Cord’s response to Phil Keoghan when asked if their belt buckles impeded them, on The Amazing Race

”Gatorade this week officially dropped Tiger Woods as their spokesperson after realizing that his thirst would never be quenched.” —Seth Meyers on SNL‘s ”Weekend Update”

”Bristol Palin is playing herself on a TV show to show the consequences of teen pregnancy. How pissed is her kid gonna be that she keeps calling him the ‘consequences.”’ —Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately

”Our girl parts are like a spiderweb. Sometimes you’re going to catch stuff you don’t want.” —Robin (Cobie Smulders), on how she is involuntarily stringing along a co-worker, on How I Met Your Mother