Well, we’re four episodes in to Heroes v Villains and I am hearing from a lot of you on the streets that you are really digging this season. I’m happy to hear that and you’re going to love next week just as much. There’s good stuff coming down the pipe!
Lets get to the most recent episode…
WE ALL WANT TO BE LIKED
COACH: (battling tears) “Why doesn’t anybody ever say anything nice about me?”
There it is. The Answer. The great mystery has been solved. Nine simple words and you have the secret to understanding Coach.
He just wants to be liked.
Is that so much to ask?
SCREEEECH! Oh, for crying out loud, I can already hear the Coach haters telling me to get over my “Coach Crush.” Let me just deal with you guys right quick by delving into my 7th grade bag of insults. How ’bout this one… “Bite me.” Has a nice ring to it. I may use it again later.
Let me also tell you up front that I’m slightly annoyed as I write this. It’s late, it’s been a long day and as I was driving home at 10 p.m., it started raining. Not a big deal except that I had hosted a big charity event at my little tree house of a home on Sunday and so I pulled out the cushions to my patio furniture and I forgot to bring them back inside, knowing it was scheduled to rain. So I came home to the dreaded… wet cushions. Ah, we’ve all been there, right? The dreaded wet cushions. Right up there with that load of laundry you left in the washing machine and now it smells of mildew. Crisis. I wasn’t in the mood. Now the cushions are in my living room creating a small pool of water as I write this. Just not in the mood. Annoyed. It happens. Hard to believe, I know, but I’m not always Mr. Positive. Shocking.
So… if you pick up on any pettiness, it probably stems from wet cushions. Guess I’ll have to get out my Pottery Barn catalog and order new ones. I’m kidding. I’m not gonna call Pottery Barn, I’ll have my assistant call Pottery Barn. I don’t deal with that kind of domestic crap. Relax. I’m kidding again. I don’t have an assistant. I have an intern, they’re free.
I GET NO RESPECT, I TELL YA
Okay, back to Coach. We all want to be liked. I want to be liked, politicians want to be liked, musicians want to be liked, tree trimmers want to be liked, grocery store clerks want to be liked, even Hollywood talent agents want to be liked. Check that, they REALLY want to be liked. I’m guessing most of you reading this blog also want to be liked. It’s a universal desire to be liked. Well, Coach is no different. Coach believes he is living a very noble life and playing a very honorable game of Survivor and he wants to be acknowledged for doing so… he wants to be liked…but it just isn’t going to happen. It’s Survivor. Nobody gets any respect.
Case in point – Tyson.
Tyson’s actions regarding Coach are a perfect example of why Survivor is so damn tough to play. On one hand Tyson was a source of comfort to Coach. He listened as Coach shared his feelings and he even offered counsel to Coach with some candid advice that Coach would be wise to take to heart.
But then Tyson turned around and shared every single thing Coach said with the rest of the tribe, including the fact that Coach had shed tears and considered quitting. Man, that ain’t right. That’s some bullsh*t up in here.
But that’s how the game of Survivor is played. Information is king. If you give information to someone else, you give them power. Coach gave Tyson power when he shared his feelings with him. It’s harsh but it’s true.
GET IT TOGETHER, MAN, I’M SERIOUS
I loved the exchange between Coach and Boston Rob because it brought out Rob’s very limited patience for topics such as feelings and whining. More than any other guy I know Rob is the quintessential “guy’s guy.” He’s just not one to have long talks about feelings. You’re either with him or you’re against him. It’s so clear that Coach desperately wants to be with him and that is probably at the heart of why he’s feeling left out. He just wants Rob to like him! But with Rob, it’s not so much if he likes you as much as it is if he doesn’t despise you. Coach, he doesn’t despise you, so take his advice – stand up straight and get back in the game. It’s too soon for you to go home.
Oh, while we’re here…how about another response for those of you who are still screaming at me to get off the Coach topic? Let’s see…hmmm…how about this 8th grade classic… “Up yours.” Ya like that one? I do too. It’s straight to the point.
I’m kidding. It’s just a joke. Where’s your sense of humor. Fun. You remember fun, right? That thing you used to have before you became a pain in the a–? Yeah, that thing. Listen, if I can laugh at myself with wet cushions, you should be able to take a little Coach humor.
I was a bit surprised at the different way the two tribes approached the idol clue. I never would have guessed that it would be the Villains who chose to not look for the idol, while the Heroes were tripping over each other in a mad dash to uncover it. Further proof that at this point, the Villains are more in control of their game. They just have it more together than the Heroes.
Yes, of course it makes sense to want the idol in your possession, but the fact the villains were fine keeping the idol out of their game tells me they are more concerned with keeping their tribe strong than they are dividing it by looking for the idol.
Russell of course has a different idea and thank heavens, because let’s be clear – we put the idol in the show because we want it to be found…and we would like it to be played.
Preferably many times.
So the Villains’ decision to sit on the clue and do nothing about it is not the most exciting news to hear back at base camp. That’s just one of the reasons Russell was invited back – he plays the game. He’s not an observer, he’s a participant. And he still should have won last season.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE – TAKE TWO
Yes, that was the same Immunity Challenge from last season’s Survivor: Samoa in which the dreadlocked Russell went down…and almost did not get up.
As emotional as it was to run the challenge again, we never debated. We felt that it belonged in this season because of the distinction of being the only challenge in the history of Survivor to not be completed and it offered a chance to create new history when it finally was completed.
Once again Boston Rob showed his ability to lead as he single-handedly won that challenge for the Villains. Rob is a guy who wants the ball in his hands when there are only seconds left on the clock. He’s not afraid to step up and take the big shot. That’s the same way he plays Survivor – to win. I respect anybody who plays this game full tilt boogie every day.
Here’s something that will aggravate Russell and probably every other Survivor. Every other Survivor except Ashley from last season – Ashley gets it and she’ll understand that what I’m about to say is not a slight to anyone else, it’s just a really wise bet.
Here’s the bet: If I had to put money on only one Survivor it would be Boston Rob. Overall, he has the qualities that I would most want to have if I played the game and I think that if I bet on him every day that over the course of the run I’d come out ahead.
FINALLY THE HEROES GET IT RIGHT
While I’m sorry to see Cirie gone from the game, I’m happy that she got voted out because this philosophy of getting rid of the strong players simply because they’re not in your alliance was about to make me throw my laptop through my television screen. Imagine that, a living room filled with wet cushions and a busted TV. That would really suck.
Cirie was the right vote. Voting out Colby or Tom over Cirie would have been yet another idiotic vote by the Hero tribe – one that I fully expected them to make. I was shocked to see JT switch his vote, but I do think he made the best overall move.
That doesn’t mean JT won’t be the next one voted out, but if you want to win…you have to have a strong tribe and at times you have to make big moves. JT did both tonight – he kept his tribe strong by making a big move. Cirie is only strong in one area – strategy. She’s a master strategist, in fact, but she was not going to help them at camp or in challenges.
NEXT TIME ON… SURVIVOR
So maybe the Heroes can turn things around now. They’re clearly the stronger tribe physically if they can just get their attitudes to catch up to their muscles.
Next week’s episode offers another interesting tribal council and…another Survivor goes down!
See ya then. By the way, the cushions are now dry.
Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Alpha Male Powers… Activate