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The bullseye: March 12, 2010

Rihanna, Carrie Underwood, and ”Big Momma’s House” made pop culture news this week

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HITS
· Rihanna’s ”Rude Boy”: Miss Manners wouldn’t approve, but we sure do.
· Please please please let the Hot Tub Time Machine movie live up to its title.
· Conan O’Brien: funnier in 140 characters on Twitter than Jay Leno is for an hour on The Tonight Show
· OK Go’s Rube Goldberg-y video for ”This Too Shall Pass”
· Shannen Doherty to compete on Dancing With the Stars; in related news, the dance floor will be covered with a giant picture of Tori Spelling’s face.

NEAR MISSES
· Lindsey Vonn is going to guest-star on Law & Order. Maybe they can have Julia Mancuso on, too, and Vonn can step on her lines.
· Dana Delany and Julie Benz on Desperate Housewives: Love you both, but Laverne and Shirley made a more believable lesbian couple.
· Kris Allen + protein shakes – singing talent = Tim Urban
· Waiting to Exhale sequel coming soon; working title: Waiting for an Oxygen Tank
· J. Lo as a comedian
· Carrie Underwood as a singer

MISSES
· Carrie Underwood as a comedian
· J. Lo as a singer
· Good luck with Vienna, Jake Pavelka! See you on eHarmony in six months.
· Naomi Campbell: world’s scariest backseat driver
· Courtney Love: Ooof
· Big Momma’s House gets a third installment. When will Hollywood learn not to mess with the classics?
· Batman and Superman comic books fetch over a million bucks apiece. Cathy comic book sells for a piece of belly-button lint and a used toothpick.
· Carly Simon: You’re so vain, you probably still think we care who this song is about.