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Sound Bites: This week's best quotes

The funniest TV lines from the week of Feb. 15

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”It was the worst pairing since Drew Barrymore and directing.” —Casey (Spencer Grammer), after setting up Rusty and Katherine on a date, on Greek

”Snooki is Chilean? That’s like finding out Santa Claus is Jewish!” —Jimmy Kimmel, on the revelation that Jersey Shore‘s Snooki is not Italian, on Jimmy Kimmel Live

”The doctors checked me out, basically told me I had the flu and maybe a little bit of a case of crybabyitis.” —Boston Rob, after passing out, on Survivor: Heroes vs Villains

”Big news tomorrow from the world of sports: Tiger Woods is making a televised public apology. Televised public apology tomorrow: He needs three more to tie my record.” —David Letterman on Late Show

”It’s not going to make the military soft or anything. I mean, they’re soldiers. We’re talking, yeah, they’re gay, but we’re not talking RuPaul, Elton John gay. We’re talking Brokeback Mountain gay.” —Wanda Sykes, regarding ”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” on Real Time With Bill Maher

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