1. Kate Winslet says she keeps her Oscar in bathroom
You really don’t want to know where she stores her Golden Globes.
2. Steven Tyler returns to Aerosmith; band to play U.K. festival
We’re back in the saddle* again! (*Saddle is aging and unstable, and may not provide adequate support. Talk to your doctor to see if this saddle is right for you.)
3. Prison-bound Lil Wayne has eight root canals during eight-hour dental surgery
Pretty hardcore. In fact, he was just two procedures-in-one-sitting short of a Montag.
4. Conan O’Brien reportedly launching live stage show to fill hiatus
The Broadway stop will include special tributes to NBC, including Jay Miserables, The Lying King, and The Seven Month Itch.
5. Adam Lambert says in radio interview he made out with Ke$ha…
But $till not changing team$.
6. In casting curveball, Jim Belushi to star in CBS legal-drama pilot
Said a network spokesman: ”According to Jim proves that Belushi can draw an audience when there’s no comedy involved.”
7. Sean Penn charged with misdemeanor battery after assaulting paparazzo
Afterward, he drank a can of New Coke, ducked into a theater to see Desperately Seeking Susan, then headed home to catch the series premiere of Mr. Belvedere.
8. Tiger Woods apologizes, vows to reconnect with religion
If temptation strikes, he’ll only make late-night Buddha calls.
9. The Who may call it quits again because of Pete Townshend’s tinnitus
Plus, there’s little interest in the band’s new single: ”I Can’t Hear for Miles.”
10. Former Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz has a new vocation: playing the drums for rock band You Hang Up
Their first gig was a huge success…until Jane Kaczmarek marched out, grabbed Frankie by his ear, and pulled him off the stage. So embarrassing.