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The bullseye: March 5, 2010

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HITS
· Who needs health-care reform when the Glee kids are performing at the White House?
· Becki Newton fields 11 offers and gets her own TV show!
· Now, would someone please give Scott Porter his own show?!
· Mila Kunis: Gorgeous
· Carrie Underwood and Hilary Duff engaged to hockey players. And we thought the curling team got all the hot women.
· 90210 beach house for sale! Comes with baby-doll dresses, peroxide, and Brian Austin Green.

NEAR MISSES
· Natalie Merchant to release new album. Also included in the 90210 beach house.
· Things that aren’t working on Big Love this season: Nicki’s uterus, all the rest of the plotlines
· Joe Simpson tells John Mayer to ”shut up.” Apparently he’s the only one allowed to comment on how hot Jessica is.
· Note to Leonardo DiCaprio: Mayor Quimby shouldn’t be your dialect coach.

MISSES
· The new Speidi iPhone app: Keeps generating content long after you’ve stopped caring.
· Bullseye had a dream that Brad Pitt asked us to stop making fun of his beard, so you’ll have to write your own joke this week.
· Padma Lakshmi gives birth to daughter, who immediately spits out baby food, calling it ”derivative” and ”inedible.”
· The hillbilly music that plays every time Team Cowboy pops up on The Amazing Race
· Claire Danes: My so-called fashion mistake
· Tiger and Elin Woods: Maybe the Marriage Ref can help?
· J. Love, Lady Gaga called and wants…nothing back.
· A bar patron allegedly vomits on Susan Sarandon. C’mon, The Lovely Bones wasn’t that bad.

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