With two days left in the 2010 Vancouver Games, I’m getting prematurely nostalgic for some of their random, “only in the Olympics” quirks. My favorite Olympicism lately has been the NBC commentators’ constant use of the term “most decorated” to describe athletes — like U.S. speed skater Apolo Ohno, the Most Decorated Olympian of All Time — who have won a bunch of medals. I enjoy picturing these people as Christmas trees or spacious sunlit lofts, finally adorned to their fullest potential.
Other Olympicisms I’ll miss:
- Shaun White’s Spicoli-ness
- Proud family members in the audience, especially if they’re old, babies, or weeping
- Hearing coaches (like U.S. skier Ted Ligety’s) scream motivational nonsense just before go-time
- My loofah is an Olympic curling broom
- My thumbs do front crossovers as I type on my phone
- Weepy backstory montages in which athletes Overcame Things
- Scott Hamilton’s orgasmic grunts nearly every time a skater lands a jump
- Faux-denim snowboarding pants envy
- Skate guards that look like snorkels
- Totally insane diagrams of people’s recurring injuries
- Random Today show cooking segments that produce chyrons such as “This poutine is anything but usual”
- The “people trapped in ice cubes” motif of the theme-songed intros
- Stephen Colbert!
- Realizing that my knees aren’t actually aching; I’ve just been watching moguls for too long
- Noticing that apartments across the alley from mine are also tuned in to the Olympics (and all have bigger TVs)
- Visuals produced by the phrase “attacking the mountain”
- “Death cookies,” the hardened chunks of ice skiers and snowboarders must avoid. Are those like the Death Star Cookies from Darth Vader’s Activity Book?
- The Medal-Contenders’ Luxury Sofa Suite
- Total domination of the Google homepage
- And of course (gulp!)…crying at the Dan Jansen commercial
Which Olympicisms have you loved, PopSasquatchers?
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
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