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'Undercover Boss' recap: The 'Sultan of the Slurpee' is sloppy

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The drama was decaf in this week’s Undercover Boss. The CEO of 7-Eleven, Joe DePinto, did not discover a low-level manager as creepy as Jimbo was in last week’s Hooters edition of Boss. Instead, DePinto, using the name “Danny,” encountered almost non-stop inspirational stories: A 7-Eleven delivery man who works so hard, he only sees his wife on weekends; a woman who knows many of her customers by name but needs a kidney donor. Boss once again turned stories of low-level employees’ difficulties into a saga of entrepreneurial devotion for the already-rich guy who runs the company.

DePinto/Danny was affable for the camera, and the show had some fun with him spilling coffee on a store floor, and screwing up a pastry-making assembly line. I half-expected CBS to intercut this with footage from the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy runs amock in the chocolate factory.

The biggest problems the boss encountered during an entire week were that stale pastries in one store were not being given to a local charity, and some overhead lights in another outlet needed replacing. Otherwise, it was non-stop warm-and-fuzziness with adorable Dolores, the middle-aged coffee-maker who greets customers as though she’s their mom, and happy-time with Igor, not long from his homeland of Kazakhstan but the exact opposite of Borat: irony-free and charmingly humble.

Those of you who’ve commented on my previous Boss recaps are a baffling bunch: When I reviewed the post-Super Bowl premiere starring Waste Management’s Larry O’Donnell and wrote this was a hollow commercial for the managerial ruling-class, I got complaints that I didn’t appreciate how noble it was of ol’ Larry to “walk a mile in the shoes” of his exploited employees. (By the way, Larry-lovers: I’ve been scouring the Internet, and I don’t see any news of those sweeping changes at Waste Management promised by O’Donnell and his “task force” during the show. I guess the company is keeping all that good publicity under wraps. Modesty prevails!)

Then last week, I admired the way the editing of the Hooters episode of Boss made for interesting drama, and you chastised me for not yelling loudly enough for the beheading of bully-boy employee Jimbo.

So I won’t guess who you ended up rooting for this week. I give Joe DePinto credit for handing out the best prize in the short history of Undercover Boss: Igor got his own franchise!

The night’s most inexplicable omission? How do you do a show about 7-Eleven and not plumb the mysteries of the great Slurpee machine: How it works, and how they choose flavors like Blackberry Lime and Mountain Dew Blue Shock?

Did you watch? How can we get Dolores a kidney donor?

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