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The bullseye: Feb. 26, 2010

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HITS
· Betty White for president! Or SNL host would be fine, too.
· Move over, Aretha Franklin, Lady Gaga’s got the next presidential inauguration covered with her hat from the ”Telephone” video.
· Dug from Up should have won the Westminster Dog Show
· Join this Facebook group, please: ”Can this poodle wearing a tinfoil hat get more fans than Glenn Beck?”
· Damn, Mariska Hargitay, you look good in a bikini!
· Jason Derulo’s ”In My Head” — we can’t get it out.
· The three most important scientific discoveries ever: gravity, a vaccine for polio, and a cure for man boobs. (Thanks, Spanx!)

NEAR MISSES
· Stop fighting, Dick Cheney and Joe Biden! You’re both pretty.
· Stop fighting, Family Guy and Sarah Palin! You’re both pretty.
· We didn’t know Fashion Week took place on the set of Big Love.
· Valentine’s Day opens to $63 million. That’s one dollar for each member of the cast.
· Kristen Stewart, aren’t you done being Joan Jett yet? Cut your hair.
· Terrorists can’t sideline Jack Bauer, but apparently a ruptured cyst can. Get well soon. Kiefer Sutherland!

MISSES
· Megan Fox says she’d make a good mother. ”I’ve worked with Michael Bay, so how hard can a baby be?”
· Finally, we know where Bachelor contestant Vienna Girardi got her start: as Big Bird from Sesame Street
· From mall cop to babysitter: Kevin James to host Kids’ Choice Awards.
· Robert Pattinson and John Mayer: Celebrities should not talk to the press about vaginas or penises unless they are being interviewed by the New England Journal of Medicine.

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