The Best Little Whorehouse is Texas is headed back to the big screen, Variety reports. Universal has tapped writers Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith to update the story, which originated on Broadway. The duo specializes in women’s tales: Their credits include The Ugly Truth, The House Bunny, She’s the Man, Ella Enchanted, Legally Blonde, and 10 Things I Hate About You. There will be musical numbers, but the studio hasn’t said if they’ll be familiar or original songs. Thoughts?
I’m okay with this. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) is one of the movies I watched on loop as a child, even though it was rated R, but if they screw it up, I’ll just pop in Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds and be fine. I do have two conditions:
1. Do not cast Jessica Simpson. In any role. She’s from Dallas, she sings, she’s “sexual napalm,” and I know you’ll be tempted. But she’s not an actress.
2. Keep it rated R. I’m not sure how the NCAA will respond today to the winners of a college football rivalry scoring at a brothel, but I’m gonna need some kind of a locker room production number. Nudity alert!
Who do you see starring in the remake? I wish I could imagine Faith Hill and Tim McGraw carrying a film, because how cute would that be? But I don’t see either of them having the personality to pull off the roles. Slezak suggested Carrie Underwood and Vince Vaughn for Miss Mona and Ed Earl, but Carrie feels too green. (I’d definitely hire her and her “Cowboy Casanova” video wardrobe to work at the Chicken Ranch.) Other pairings bandied about at PopWatch HQ include: Renée Zellweger and George Clooney or Sandra Bullock and George Clooney (though I think Clooney might be fun as the Governor of Texas, a role that earned Charles Durning an Oscar nod). You could also throw Reese Witherspoon and Matthew McConaughey into the mix. Or Anna Faris and Ryan Reynolds.
Your turn. Mix and match from our list or come up with your own picks.