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'Ugly Betty' Bites: 23 drag-lightful lines from last night's episode, 'Chica and the Man'!

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The photo at left kills me. Just look at it! Did you ever imagine we’d see the day where Wilhelmina Slater would meet her drag doppelgänger? And that she’d be so aptly named Wilheldiva Hater? Well, actually, with Ugly Betty, I suppose having a drag version of Wilhelmina Slater isn’t that crazy. But still: Genius! (Love, too, that Wilheldiva was played by Vanessa Williams’ real-life brother Chris.)

And yet again, last night, the heading-toward-the-end show served up yet another stellar episode. (Which feels especially painful and awesome knowing that there are only seven episodes left now.) Betty and Daniel fought it out! The always-delightful Kristen Johnston returned as receptionist Helen! And we found out that Ignacio gets really into… drag queens? Weirdness! But fun.

Also fun? All the great one-liners the show serves up so briskly. Here, my favorites from the evening:

“Sure, I’ll get rid of the Titans of Sports, as soon as you take down your ethnic bric-à-brac! And while we’re at it, please refrain from carrying on in your overly exuberant Latina ways!” —Marc, after Betty, who he’s sharing an office with now, tells him that his men-with-shirts-off decor isn’t professional

“I’m sharing an office with a chunky cheering Charro!” —Marc, after Betty goes into a screaming fit upon hearing she’s won a BLOBBY Award (although she doesn’t know what it is)

“I’m sick of being a receptionist—always being at everyone’s Beck and Victoria!” —Amanda, hilariously complaining about her job with a ref to Britain’s most-fab couple

“I’ll have my lawyers draw up a cease and desist order. As if I didn’t have enough queens to shut down here at Mode!” —Wilhelmina, upon hearing about her drag doppelganger, Wilheldiva Hater

“Congratulations, Betty! Oh, you must be so excited to be honored by the Big Lesbian Order of Bloggers!” —Amanda, making fun of Betty’s BLOBBY Award

“Amanda, I already told you that’s not what BLOB stands for! It stands for Big, Lumpy, Obese Bloggers!” —Marc, taking his shot at Betty’s BLOBBY Award

“Oh, you’re running this? Fun! It’ll be like watching a 5-year-old try to drive the car.” —Wilhelmina, after Daniel takes the reigns at a Mode editorial meeting

“Is this a creative meeting or The Price is Right?” —Wilhelmina, reacting to Marc and Betty’s crazy hope that they get picked to do certain assignments during the Mode editorial meeting

“Oh, I don’t know, Daniel. Should she slow down—or you speed up? I mean, I would hate to see the assistant exceed the master! Oh, who am I kidding? I’d love to see that.” —Wilhelmina, after Daniel tells Betty to slow down her excitement for working on a story

“If you hire some new hottie, you’re going to spend half your day wondering: Will we sleep together? When will we sleep together? Will she get all crazy or will it be casual? With me, you already know we’re sleeping together. I am all crazy, and it’s casual! Total time-saver.” —Amanda, trying to convince Daniel to hire her as his new assistant

“He became a woman like his brother?” —Hilda, after Betty says she’s got shocking news about Daniel

“I adored it. Do it one more time, and I’ll sue your fake ass off!” —Wilhelmina, when her drag doppelganger Wilheldiva Hater asks how she liked the show

“Calm down, Betty, good things come to those who weigh less.” —Amanda, offending Betty as usual with a jab about her weight

“Oh, that’s just Betty. She’s always forgetting the English word for things.” —Amanda, again offending Betty when reintroducing her to new receptionist Helen

“Did you guys widen those elevators or did that stupid doctor pull my eyes too tight?” —Helen, upon her return to the Mode offices

“Hmm, I spent most of my prep time doing pull-ups!” —Daniel, about how he got ready for his interview with sexy star Victoria Velez

Hold magazine, please mode!” —Helen, trainwrecking her way through her new receptionist job at Mode

“You hooking me up with this job—it’s like, the cherry on top of the pill bottle.” —Helen, thanking Amanda for getting her the job as Mode’s receptionist

“Daniel, Suzuki, TMZ, and something called The New York Times are all on the line for you.” —Amanda, showing just how savvy she is with media

“Well, I could make an effort to be liked, but I’d rather be hated than inconvenienced. However, if you stick around and shave again, it seems I could have it all.” —Wilhelmina, after her drag doppelganger says she could never do mean as good as Wilhelmina does

“Mandi! Why did I just see Helen in the closet reading a four-year-old Marie Claire and wiping Cheeto dust off her fingers with a vintage Prada shift?!” —Marc, discovering that Amanda hadn’t yet fired Helen

“Ah! Is it just me or does a cold gust of wind actually pick up when you approach?!” —Claire, when Wilhelmina walks into a room amid a gust of cold wind

“I don’t know, but if you don’t talk to grandpa, she’s gonna be your new stepmom.” —Justin, spying his grandpa Ignacio’s creepy delight and infatuation with Wilhelmina’s drag doppelganger Wilheldiva Slater

Betty fans: Which is your favorite quip? Which line did I miss that you loved more than Wilheldiva Slater loves Wilhelmina Slater? And did you like the episode as much as I did?

More ‘Ugly Betty’ Bites from EW.com:

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 20 bright quips from last night’s episode, ‘Blackout!’

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 16 killer lines from Wednesday’s episode, ‘Back in Her Place’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 24 flair-filled lines from last night’s episode, ‘The Passion of the Betty’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 11 quippiest gems from last night’s episode, ‘Be-Shure’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 18 funniest lines from last night!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 10 genius lines from Friday night’s great episode!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: Enjoy the best 19 quips from the best episode of the season (so far)!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 18 Betty-ful clips from last night!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 19 hilarious lines from last night’s episode!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 15 great lines from last night!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The best lines from Betty’s makeover premiere episode!

Photo credit: ABC

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