It’s never gonna win an Emmy. It features bisexual hot-tub hookups, drunken fights, and late-night ham-and-water snacking. But Jersey Shore is still the most entertaining show MTV has aired in years. It’s been plagued with controversy, but here’s a little secret: [Whispers] It’s not actually offensive. Do single women across the country look at the bitchy, marriage-obsessed contestants on The Bachelor and think, ”Wow, they make me proud!”? Doubtful. That’s because it’s silly television (after all, serious, thoughtful programming doesn’t usually showcase characters named Sammi Sweetheart and J-Woww), and by that measure, Shore is phenomenal. Snooki is the greatest pint-size reality star since Verne Troyer’s urinating days on The Surreal Life: What she lacks in height, she makes up for in pickle-sucking skills and Oompa-Loompa skin pigmentation. And we will frankly never get tired of discussing ”The Situation.” Greatest. Nickname. Ever. Clearly, Shore has been cast and produced by reality-TV mad scientists to deliver the ultimate entertainment monster. After all, would you really want to watch a show featuring low-talkers who knit and play board games?