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The Top 10 Things That Made Me Die Inside During Snooki's '10@10' on 'The Jay Leno Show'

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Miraculously, I was able create this list for PopWatch without vomming and/or naming “The fact that I watched the entire thing and then typed words about it” as Nos. 1-10. Behold the Jersey Shore star’s appearance on Monday night’s The Jay Leno Show, or screw your eyes shut, try not to notice that she’s starting to look like Meadow Soprano in a not-terrible way, and move on to the next item. Let’s all just try to get through the day, all right?

Top 10 Things That Made Me Die Inside During Snooki’s ’10@10′

10. Delayed reaction to Jay’s question “How are you?” sets up general vibe of doom.

9. “Actually, I have a story for you!” heightens doom vibe, turns out to be even worse story than expected.

8. Snooki explains what one could do with bronzer and eyeliner if they happened to be in one’s bag.

7. “I cheated on him because he was a guido.”

6. The reason Snooki finds Twilight boring is that it contains no pictures.

5. I can’t decide who to pity more: the hotel manager or that poor curtain.

4. “Blue Suede Shoes”

3. Repeated mention of the Bumpit

2. “I tease” reminded me of Bill Maher’s “I kid,” even though Snooki was talking about her hair.