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Miley's tiny sister Noah Cyrus schools us commoners in the art of sexy underage dancing

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Awww. It’s so cute how 9-year-old Noah Cyrus wallops her caboose while singing Akon’s “Smack That” in front of an adoring audience. Miley’s always hogging all the attention!

That VAGUELY reminds me of how my sister and I used to make up dance routines to popular songs in the ’80s. But this was basically just two gangly flamingos pacing back and forth in our damp-carpeted basement with occasional out-of-sync jazz hands. I think sometimes we would try an ill-advised hip jerk, but that was it. And this was probably to Paula Abdul’s “Cold-Hearted.” I realize now that if we were ahead of our years, we could have at least felt each other up during “Uh oh, he’s been telling lies.” What were we, idiots? Probably just untalented. Did you PopWatchers ever choreograph stupid dances with your siblings or friends? Did you make it sexy like Tyra makes it fashion? Which songs?