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Who wants to help John Mellencamp quit smoking? Anyone? ANYONE?!

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John Mellencamp has not only spent most of his adult life R O C K-ing in the USA, but he has also spent most of it smoking, too. His 14-year-old son, Speck, is no great fan of his father’s ridiculously whimsical approach to progency nomenclature smelly, life-choking cigarette habit, but apparently Mr. “Hurt So Good” has made his boy a deal: Mellencamp has agreed to quit the cancer sticks if Speck can get 1 million people to join a Facebook group called “1,000,000 to join, my dad john mellencamp will quit smoking.” The AP reported earlier today that the group had 7000 members; by 9:30 PM EST, it had 33,242 members. (In a somewhat related story, another new Facebook group launched today, called: “1,000,000 to join, my dad John Mellencamp named me Speck and I hate him.” As of 9:30 PM EST, it had 7 members.)

Personally, I have a very complicated reaction. First: what does Speck have against capitalizing his father’s name? He respects him enough to try and save his life but he can’t muster the trouble of pressing shift while hitting the J and the M? What a lazy kid. Second, as the son of a guy who struggled valiantly and ultimately succeeded at kicking cigarettes, I know Speck’s heart is in the right place. But has he thought about the potentially catastrophic cost to his pop’s alluringly smokey singing voice? Sorry, Speck, but I just don’t know if I can put your father’s health before his art. And you know what? I’m wondering if your dad feels the same way. I mean, 1 MILLION members? He set that bar suspiciously high, if you ask me. Look, if suffering a massive heart attack in 1994 wasn’t enough to discoruage the Mellencamp from giving up smoking, I’m not sure ANY number of “Facebook friends” will do the trick. But hey: good luck with all that, Speck Quixote.

What do you think, Popwatchers? Are you motivated enough to save John Mellencamp by joing Speck’s crusade? (And PS: I’m only having fun with Speck. I am a HUGE Mellencamp fan–AND I just joined Speck’s group. So there. I have a heart. A HEART UNCORRUPTED BY SMOKE.)