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'Brothers & Sisters' recap: Sweet little lies, plus the world's gayest bachelor party!

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There was so much done right in this episode (i.e. Saul saying it would be weeks until the investigators knew what happened in WineGate 2009, so we knew we wouldn’t be seeing Ryan!) that we’re going to forgive the writers for bringing Tommy back next week for “the emotional episode of the season.” (What do you think that means? I’m guessing Rebecca starts to miscarry at the wedding, and it’s a cliffhanger.)

Let’s dive in. We had the return of the popular Walker Sibling Phone Tree™ after Kitty walked in on Nora and Simon having relations in the shower and, naturally, had to call Sarah because Robert didn’t give her the horrified reaction she was looking for (“Good for her,” he said. “It’s a whole new day in Pasadena.”) Kevin, unfortunately, also chose to call Sarah at that moment to tell her that he and Scotty were having their sperm counts tested (“I’m not at work. I’m waiting for my husband to finish masturbating”) and he had to hear about Nora’s afterglow before going in to make his deposit. (“There’s not a DVD in the whole of West Hollywood that could counteract what I just heard.”) I’m sorta happy that Scotty has better swimmers: It’s always fun to see Kevin competitive, and it set Sarah up for another zinger (“Oh, by the way, I’m glad Scotty’s sperm’s better than yours — us Walkers need to stop reproducing”).

Justin also phoned Sarah to ask if Luc could come out to play and to show us yet again — we get it! — that he’s lost touch with his family studying for his midterms. Do we believe that Justin actually thought he’d aced his exams, or was his impending failure, along with Rebecca denying him morning sex, the reason Sarah had to ask if she was on suicide watch after hearing his voice? (This was such a good episode for Sarah and she didn’t even have sex!) Regardless, it’s worth noting that Justin never actually got to tell Rebecca that two Ds, two Fs, and a C- put him back on academic probation. When she heard he’d had two gulps of champagne at the “gayest bachelor party ever” (thrown by Robert!), she interrupted his string of confessions to tell him he couldn’t fall apart now, he’s going to be a dad. I can see why Justin would be angry that everyone but Holly already knew about the baby. (Rebecca had to tell Kitty she was seven weeks pregnant when her bust wouldn’t fit in her wedding dress, Kitty then told Robert on purpose and Nora accidentally, and Robert told the gay triumvirate.) But I don’t understand why everyone, including Rebecca, expected Justin to immediately have an answer. Rebecca had taken weeks to come to the decision that she wanted to keep the baby. Justin deserved more than a game of toss with Robert in the backyard. Let’s not even go into how appropriate it was for Justin to ask Robert when it’s okay to lie: Robert telling Kitty that when he looked at her bald all he saw was how beautiful she was and not that she could die (good); Robert not telling Kitty that he intended to run for governor (bad). Justin wanted to know if it was an appropriate lie to say you’re happy to have a baby when you’re not. Robert told him he’d have to figure that out for himself. Apparently, it is. He told Rebecca he wanted the baby, too — and sold it. I believed him until we got the shot of his worried face as he hugged her.

While we wait to see what happens there (the preview showed Justin telling David that he’s not on board with the baby), we’re also left wondering what Simon is up to… I’m not sure what kind of game he could be playing — does dating the founder of a home for cancer patients and their families help the reputation of a possibly disgraced doctor? — but we’re being led to believe it’s something. Sarah Googled him and found out that he had two major malpractice suits against him for negligence. When she went to burst Nora’s bubble, Nora already knew about them and said they’d been thrown out. After Nora asked Simon to leave following family blowout #1,456, Sarah and Kitty convinced her to get back with him (“You were doin’ somethin’ that was feelin’ good, so go with it,” Sarah said, with the delivery that earns Rachel Griffiths Emmy nominations). But then Kevin told Sarah the cases were thrown out right around the time he stopped seeing patients and began focusing on research — could his license have been yanked? Again, not sure what this has to do with him dating Nora, unless he’s trying to treat patients at her home, which he isn’t. Maybe they’re afraid he’ll distract Nora from more than her housework — “We always have milk! The Northridge Earthquake, El Niño, the LA Riots. We always have milk!” — and her foundation will suffer? (No, still don’t buy it.)

Do you have a theory about Simon? What do you think will happen between Rebecca and Justin? How are the writers going to ruin the new respect Nora has for risk-taking and resilient Holly? I love it when the two of them are civil, but that can’t last, right?

Photo credit: Michael Desmond/ABC

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