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'Modern Family': The ten best zingers from last night's episode, 'Fizbo'

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Okay, Modern Family fanatics. I know we usually do a fairly extensive recap recounting the insane/relatable/always hilarious hijinks of the Pritchett clan, but seeing how it’s Thanksgiving eve, and how I have a three-hour road trip to visit my very own modern family in the ay-em, I’ll just say that I rewound tonight’s “child’s birthday from hell” episode no fewer than a dozen times because I was missing dialogue/plot development due to my husband and I howling with laughter. So without further ado, the 10 lines that had us chortling (yes, I said chortling) hardest (in descending order):

10. “Let’s tuck our pants into our socks.”

9. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t need it. An extension cord works pretty good.”

8. “I used to have a machete, but times have changed.”

7. “People are gonna stare. They’re not used to seeing one clown in a car.”

6. “Girlfriend’s gonna get stung!”

5. “I’ve tried everything to get her attention. Opening doors, having a milk sent over in the cafeteria. Nothing’s worked.”

4. “A gift card? Who hurt you?”

3. “She can’t go 10 minutes without her boyfriend’s tongue in her mouth. It’s like he’s feeding a baby bird.”

2. “Let me know if you get low on supplies. I’ll make a quick run back to the 1950s for you.”

1. “I am brave. Roller coasters? I love ’em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I’m pretty much not afraid of anything.”

Image Credit: Adam Larkey/ABC