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Scott Brown's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of November 6, 2009

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1. Kate Winslet wins libel suit against tabloid claiming she lied about not exercising before the Oscars
In a dramatic courtroom demonstration, Winslet refrained from exercise for several weeks, then promenaded past the judge in a backless dress.

2. Taylor Swift gets heat for posing with swastika-clad man
Luckily, Beyoncé showed up to smooth it over.

3. After accusing Jon of ”mantrums,” Hailey Glassman thanks fans for supporting her brutal honesty
And in that same spirit of brutal honesty, I ask: Why does Hailey Glassman have ”fans”? I feel a mantrum coming on.

4. Ivanka Trump shows up on The View without her wedding ring
There’s an explanation: It came in a separate Hummer, and they had to widen the stage door.

5. A course on The Wire will now be taught at Harvard
It will replace the now-outmoded ”Cheers and Alcoholism: Comparing Cultural Norms.”

6. Mel Gibson’s girlfriend gives birth more than a month early
He moved it up to avoid conflicts with the Blu-ray release of Apocalypto.

7. Miley Cyrus rated ”Worst Celeb Influence” by tweens, edging out Kanye and Britney
Wow. If this is going to be her legacy, I really wish it had been a better pole dance.

8. Proudly promiscuous Russell Brand is ”living in a different way at the moment,” thanks to his new steady, Katy Perry
Be careful, Katy. It’s that ”at the moment” part you’ve got to pay attention to.

9. The crypt above Marilyn Monroe’s is still unsold
Better get in there soon or a Subway franchise is gonna snap it up.

10. After joking about how he hates working with infants, Private Practice‘s Tim Daly doesn’t ”want to be known as a baby hater”
The so-called Baby Mafia has a lot of power in Hollywood these days — and with one shake of a rattle, Daly could go back to sleeping on Tony Shalhoub’s couch.