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'Réalité': Angels and cavemen on 'SYTYCD'; NC-17 horror on 'DWTS'; blackface on 'Top Model'; boredom on 'Runway'; and justice on 'Top Chef'

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Halloween came early to reality TV this past week. Dancing With the Stars and America’s Next Top Model broadcast graphic, disturbing scenes as scary as anything that Jigsaw fella could’ve cooked up in the Saw series. So You Think You Can Dance brought out angels, cave-people, and the human embodiment of a text message. Project Runway found its top six contestants handing out boxes of stale raisins instead of delicious candy. And Top Chef served up one deluded douchebag trying to dress himself up as a front-runner — and failing poetically!

Press play on our latest five-part installment of Réalité (segments 2-5 stream automatically after part 1 finishes) to: find out my co-host Dawnie Walton’s controversial views on krumping; discover why a damaged weave and a violent game of bobbing for crotches turned me into a fan of DWTS‘s least recognizable “celebrity”; ascertain how Barack Obama, the Dalai Lama and people from dozens of ethnic backgrounds were insulted by Tyra Banks; and unearth what exactly was in Jennifer’s sauce pot on Top Chef. When you’re done, share your thoughts in the comments section below, and send me a Tweet to let me know which other shows Réalité should be covering @EWMichaelSlezak. And if that’s not reason enough for you to tune in, I promise you’ll get to hear me mispronounce the tricky French term “verjus nage” not once, but twice! Holla!