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Scott Brown's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of October 23, 2009

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1. John Stamos admits he was drunk on Australian TV in 2007
”At the time,” he explains, ”I did not know that Foster’s was ‘Australian for beer.’ I thought it was ‘Australian for diet soda.”’

2. Whitney Houston suffers a wardrobe malfunction on a British show, and later jokes, ”I sang myself out of my clothes”
I tried that line once in a crowded karaoke bar. Didn’t go over very well. But then again, I was singing Mariah, so shame on me.

3. Kim Kardashian: Kourtney will pick a ”simple” name for her baby
Y’know, something basic and solid, like Konathan or Kavid.

4. Beyoncé delays show in Malaysia after fundamentalist religious clerics predict it will be ”immoral”
Well, that’s what you get for sending fundamentalist religious clerics an advance review copy.

5. A TV show based on the life of Cesar ”The Dog Whisperer” Millan is in development
In it, he will face his greatest challenge yet: the villainous Cat Whisperer, who has all of Cesar’s powers — and none of his allergies.

6. Octomom Nadya Suleman thinks Jon Gosselin is hot
Uh-oh. I don’t like where this is going.

7. Clump of hair reputed to be Elvis Presley’s sells for more than $15,000
And that was just back hair. If somebody finds the whole coif, we can bail out California.

8. Garth Brooks holds press conference to announce he’s…playing Vegas. No tour. No album. Just Vegas.
You know, Garth, that’s the sort of announcement Facebook updates were designed for.

9. Katie Holmes wears a see-through shirt — and says her clothes are picked out by Suri
That’s cute. But when my kid picks out Saran Wrap, I hope I have the strength to resist.

10. Nicolas Cage sues business manager for ”financial ruin”
Change ”financial ruin” to ”telling me to do Knowing,” and I think he’s got a case.

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