Margaret Lyons
October 16, 2009 AT 05:32 PM EDT

Now that Balloon Boy has captured everyone’s imagination — and more than a little of our ire — it’s time to do what we do: Turn to the Internet in search of strange videos that shed some light on the situation. And by “shed some light,” I mean “freak us the hell out and make us wonder about this mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world.” Part of me hates myself for watching all of these videos. And yet part of me is so glad to share them with you, PopWatch nation. Let’s, uh, go to the vid-ee-oh-tapes!

Here’s the Heene family on Wife Swap a few years ago, embracing their kids’ desire to fartwheel at the dinner table. Oh, kids! Also, Papa Heene is kind of a douche in this clip:

Oh, and then they did Wife Swap again. More shouting! Also they believe they’re descendant from aliens, and the kids are still obsessed with farting.

Here’s part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5. I know this show is constructed to bring out the worst in people, but I never expect it to work so well.

There’s also this weird “music” video, which contains both offensive language and offensive content, “rapped” at you almost incomprehensibly by the kids. It’s one thing to be willing to appear so negligent that the world easily believed you let your kid accidentally float away in a balloon, but it’s a whoooole other can of bad parenting to encourage your children to use homophobic hate speech. Also, keep your eyes peeled for a Heene kid slathered in brown sludge and a Santa hat, emerging Mr. Hankey-style from the toiler. Or, on second thought, don’t.

Yeah, the Heene’s sure love being on TV:

I cannot wait for these people to be parodied on SNL this weekend.

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