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'Bones' recap: 'I love ancient remains. I really do.'

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TV Show
Drama, Crime
run date:
David Boreanaz, Emily Deschanel
Current Status:
In Season

Allow me to begin with the observation that Brennan’s delightful giddiness over the possibility of appearing on the cover of the American Anthropological Association’s journal was the equivalent of mine at the end of the episode when Booth appeared in a tux at the opening of the Jeffersonian’s Prince Anok exhibit. Honestly, I could stay in this will-they-or-won’t-they? limbo forever if we keep getting moments like that one: The two of them got closer and closer and lingered to the point that you became aware of just how long the scene was going on. Part of you needed it to stop, and part of you wanted the sweet torture to continue. (Sorta the romantic equivalent of the awkwardness you felt watching Timmy and Jimmy’s lengthy battle in the classic “Cripple Fight” episode of South Park.) Would they have kissed if the rest of the team hadn’t interrupted them? Instead, Brennan straightened Booth’s tie, he fixed her hair, and I tried not to hyperventilate.

We need to once again take a moment to praise David Boreanaz. The beauty of Booth is that one minute he can be playing dumb and raising his arms as he asks if the corpse they’ve found on an electric fence is an Egyptian mummy (“Like a real mummy?”), and the next he can be looking genuinely hurt that Brennan shared the story of how his mother used to tell him that the hardboiled egg in her meatloaf was a human eye on her date with his boss (guest star Diedrich Bader). “What goes on between us is ours,” he said. “Come on, Booth, you must have told a lot of people the meatloaf story, right?” And silence. Except for me squealing “Oh, Booooooooth!” in a pitch that only my neighbor’s dog (and possibly intern Daisy) could hear.

The case this episode was a fun one: Brennan and Co. (including Daisy, who’d Sweets gotten a 24-hour provisional return to the fold) had to first ID the mummy. Then they had to find the victim whose blood was splattered on it (we’ll just take Cam’s word that it was enough blood to know that the stabbing was fatal, ’cause we didn’t see it), then determine what was stolen from inside the mummy’s chest cavity, then arrest the person who would kill for that. My only real problem with the investigation was that there’s no way Hodgins should’ve missed a fingerprint on the mummy linen the first time around. You’ve got a mummy that you know was cut open and moved, so someone touched it. You’d take a good, hard look for fingerprints, even if you weren’t expecting to find any because you suspected whoever had access to it in the Jeffersonian would be smart enough to wear gloves.

Of course, had we found that fingerprint sooner, we would’ve come back to the head of ancient Rome culture and artifacts, who said he had to save the mummy from falling from its tomb when he went to apologize to the murdered curator for being a douche jealous of her funding. He revealed that she’d told him about the CAT Scan and the giant ruby buried inside Anok’s chest (which represented his bleeding heart at being accused of killing his brother and losing the love of his father) — but also said that this info. was in her missing notes, which she would’ve given to the exhibit’s administrator, the liaison between her and the Egyptian National Museum. Since we’d already cleared the woman from the museum (it would’ve been too much like that recent diamond/USB drive case), they knew it was the administrator. He didn’t want to kill his colleague. She just got in the way as he was stealing the ruby to replace the retirement he lost in the market. What did TV shows do for motive before the crap economy? I can’t remember.

More observations about the episode: Seeing the murder victim’s open torso on Cam’s autopsy table, and Cam later slicing the woman’s brain (cut to blood dripping in her hollow head!), was the grossest sight we’ve witnessed on this series. The dialogue throughout the hour had a nice spark to it. Angela to Sweets, who’d given Daisy breathing exercises and scary vocal coaching so she’d be less annoying: “I thought you fixed her.” Angela to Cam: “He’s Daisy’s trainer. If she attacks, he can put her down.” Brennan was actually likable! How refreshing was it to see her act out a scene from 1932’s The Mummy, the film that made her want to be an anthropologist, and get so excited about something in her field that she was Daisy-like with enthusiasm? (Though all I kept thinking was how pissed the other interns would be that it wasn’t their rotation with Brennan when she exonerated Anok, whose brother died from a horse accident because he had Brittle Bone Disease.) Daisy and Sweets having wild sex at work was a little jolting, yes? But I suppose a nice nod to the way Hodgins and Angela used to hit the sheets on the clock. I like that young, brilliant Sweets is smart enough to ask for love advice. “Dr. Sweets you’re crushing me and I think you’re getting brain on your suit,” Cam said, post impromptu therapy session. And speaking of love, let’s go back to Brennan and Booth…

Every time someone on the show says something blunt about Booth and Brennan’s feelings, it still shocks me. Like when Angela was trying to find out why Brennan agreed to go to dinner with Booth’s boss, when it’s clear that Booth wants to be dating her, and Brennan said it’s because while she drinks with Booth all the time, with Andrew there’s the potential for sex. “But not with Booth?” Angela asked. Addressing the tension head-on is bold, and I dig it. At this point, it would be ridiculous if the others pretended they didn’t see what’s between them. Now the big question: Do we want to see Andrew again? He seems to appreciate Bones’ brain and unique, overly literal sense of  humor, and it would obviously continue to upset Booth — which makes for drama and sweet moments like Booth assuring Andrew that Bones will never be pressured into doing something she doesn’t want to do. I’d love to know what would’ve happened had Booth said there was something between he and Brennan when Andrew asked. Would the Assistant Director of the FBI really have just backed off so he didn’t come between the couple, or would he have backed off and split them up as partners? We know being intimate with someone you’re working with in life and death situations can compromise judgment (remember Cam’s hospital stay after she broke protocol for Booth in the Epps investigation?). Having Andrew uncover the bond between Booth and Brennan and decide to separate them? That could be good Sweeps TV when the show returns in November…

Photo credit: Greg Gayne/Fox