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'House': You call that cooking with fire?

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House-Epic-Fall_dlSo…House. Last night was just a carnival of worst-ness, almost methodically emphasizing every weak point in the series and cramming in another House-likes-playing-with-urine gag. We get it! Pee is no big deal to someone as tough as House! Uuugh. Winners and losers (and spoilers) ahead:

In the plus column, we saw House actually trying new things and seeming to be sincere in the pursuit — progress or something like it! We also got to see Wilson, who is awesome, and Andre Braugher was back (all too briefly) as House’s capable and interesting therapist.

In the minus column, basically everything else. The scene with Cuddy was DOA, and I’m unable to care about Foreteen. I liked the interoffice romance on this show better when it was called “Chase and Cameron,” and even then, I didn’t like it that much. Given Jennifer Morrison’s imminent departure, I was hoping for at least some good moments from her last night. Alas, disappointment. Taub “quitting” didn’t add any tension or drama, and it was clearer than ever that minus House, PPTH is a complete drag.

I was also a little let down that House turned out to be so good at cooking. Yes, we know, he’s a genius, a medical detective so smart and sneaky he can juggle and speak different languages, and the ladies love it and the men are jealous, etc etc. Might it be nice, just for variety’s sake, to see him not be superhero-level awesome at something, just once?

PopWatchers, I was flying high on last week’s episode, but “Epic Fail” did nothing for me. On a scale of “it’s not lupus” to “make another balls joke,” where did this episode rank for you? (Just kidding, you don’t have to use that scale.)

Chris Haston/Fox