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'Gossip Girl' recap: It's all love on the Upper East Side

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Welcome back to the Upper East Side, GG fans! It’s been way too long since we last saw the Constance Billard gang, and, as we saw from last night’s third season premiere, they’ve been getting into all sorts of dish-worthy news. Let’s catch up with their summer activities, shall we?

Chuck and Blair are finally together. Yay! They even used his past philandering ways to spice up their relationship. Yes, some good ol’ fashioned role playing with Chuck as the cheating cad and Blair as the scorned girlfriend. They even visited go-sees (model-ese for auditions) to find prospective suitors. Kind of cute, kind of twisted. But when Serena warned Blair about the perils of an open relationship like theirs, they stopped these faux threesome shenanigans and kept with the role playing, just on their own. Okay, no need for details. Moving on…

They aren’t the only lovebirds in town. While traveling Europe, Nate found himself a cute Columbia masters student named Bre (played by the always lovely Joanna Garcia) only to find out she’s a Buckley—the arch political nemesis of the Archibald family. I’m digging this Romeo and Juliet plotline. It’s a good change for Nate; that Vanessa love story was such a bore!

Ironically, Vanessa is also sleeping with the enemy—Scott, a.k.a. Rufus and Lily’s lovechild. He’s ready to stir up some trouble and Vanessa (who looks better with longer hair, by the by) was his ticket in. He convinced Vanessa to take him to a charity polo match so she could reconcile with Dan (the two haven’t been getting along since Dan has been rolling in the dough of his new rich family), but more so, so he could meet Rufus. And when he did, we got the best line of the night when Scott explained that he recognized Rufus because he’s a big fan of his music. Ha. Nice try. I don’t think anyone is a fan of Rufus’ music.

But Rufus was too busy keeping an eye on Serena to notice any funny business. You see, Serena has become a paparazzi magnet thanks to a wild summer in Europe. What most everyone thinks is that the debaucherous trip was just your average post-high school graduation hurrah—gallivanting around St. Tropez and Barcelona, dancing on bars and hooking up with soccer players. (I spent that time working in a sandwich shop, but to each his own.) The real story, though, is that Serena has been trying to connect with her estranged father and used the pictures as a constant reminder for him to see. And Carter, the only one who knows the truth, isn’t afraid to drive home the point that daddy chose not to see Serena. But did he do it just to have sex with her in the forest like some fairy tale porno? Because that’s what it seemed like. And while we’re on the subject, can we talk about the imagery of Serena and Carter riding off into the forest on horses and doing the deed in that picturesque setting? It was a bit too romance novel for me. I can’t wait until they head back to the city so we can get back to their usual stomping grounds.

So let’s tally the lovefest: Chuck and Blair; Nate and Bre; Vanessa and Scott; Serena and Carter; Dan and…well Olivia (Hilary Duff), his new love interest, is coming soon. But let’s be real, this is GG and everything is going to be turned upside down starting next week, starting with Grandpa Archibald’s plan to take down the Buckleys at Nate and Bre’s expense. Oh, and how can we forget the crown jewel of the show, Georgina? She’s back next week—as Blair’s roommate!

So what did you guys think of the season premiere? Are you liking the Chuck-Blair dynamic or do you miss their limbo? How do you feel about the Carter-Serena link? And are you excited for the Scott storyline?

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