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'Big Brother' finale: Please let it be anyone but Natalie! Seriously. Anyone.

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Big Brother has had its share of annoying winners (Mike Boogie, anyone?), but the show will hit an all-time low — and that’s saying something — should the $500,000 go to Natalie this evening. For some odd reason the “Tae Kwon Do champion” considers herself a master of the game, although as far as I can tell the only thing she is a master of is telling lies that are either inconsequential (“Hey, everyone, I’m only 18! Isn’t that crazy?”), absurd (“I wore a stupid inflatable crown and told Kevin off at the nomination ceremony to totally get inside Michele’s head” — ?????), or completely ineffectual (“Oh my gosh, guys, Pandora’s Box screwed me. I now can’t win on jury votes! In other news, did I tell you that the sky is purple and that George Clooney is actually a break-dancing robot from outer space? It’s totally true!”).

I’m pretty sure we can all agree that a Natalie victory would be the most heinous of outcomes, but does that mean we should root for Jordan or Kevin? Well, Jordan certainly is the aw-shucks sweetheart choice. On the other hand, she has done absolutely NOTHING strategically the entire summer. She also doesn’t know how to tell time. I just can’t get past that. I mean, I’m not campaigning for the academic elite here. I just need a working knowledge of big hands and little hands.  Is that too much to ask? (Actually, on Big Brother, it just may be.)

There is little doubt that Kevin played the game better than Jordan. He’s single-handedly responsible for the most successful lie/turning point in the game when he convinced Jeff that Russell was coming for him. Like Kevin or not, you have to respect the move. Kevin’s biggest fault was aligning himself with horrible people like Chima, Natalie, and Lydia. In effect, he’s become guilty by association. He also seemed to magically transform into Ms. Thang whenever he entered the Diary Room, which didn’t seem to match his more subdued personality in the house at all. (No doubt producers were egging him on to up his sass factor during interviews.)

When it comes right down to it, I suppose Kevin is my choice to win, but really, any choice but Natalie is good by me. What about you? Who are you rooting for to take home the half-million dollars? (By the way, I love that 11 seasons in, this show still insists on offering only half of what they hand out on Survivor and The Amazing Race. So low rent.) Sound off below and let us know who you think deserves the money. BUT FIRST… (sorry, couldn’t resist) make sure to check out Lynette Rice’s exit interview with the person who should have won it all, Michele. (We’ll also have video interviews with the final 3 going up tomorrow!)

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