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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from August 29 to September 4, 2009

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”’Clean, responsible, considerate. I have some nice furniture and a small television’? It reads like the stage directions for an Ibsen play.” — Joan (Christina Hendricks), mocking Peggy’s want ad for a roommate, on Mad Men

”This city can’t contain Lindsay Lohan. I don’t know how we can be expected to contain a wildfire.” — Jimmy Kimmel, on the L.A. fires, on Jimmy Kimmel Live

”Why are you always so calm? It’s really irritating.” — Rachel, to husband Rodger, on The Rachel Zoe Project

”Forbes ranked Oprah Winfrey the highest-paid talk-show host…That really inspires me. If I work hard and do everything right, somehow, someday I can convince Oprah to give me some money.” — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night