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'Big Brother 11': Natalie tells the biggest, dumbest lie

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If there was any doubt that Jeff was the primary source of energy and warmth in the Big Brother 11 house, it was proved decisively on Sunday night. With Jeff booted, the final four were mopey and dopey, and the hour featured a boring “luxury competition,” a clothing spree. But…

SPOILER ALERT: DON’T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHO WHAT HAPPENED DURING THIS EDITION OF BIG BROTHER 11.

But how about that weird fall-out from “Pandora’s Box”? I felt badly for Natalie’s boyfriend Jason on a couple of levels. First, because he’s Natalie’s boyfriend. Second, because he proposed to her for real. (Or as real as anything is real on a reality-TV game-show with a proposal made with a garbage-bag twist-tie instead of an actual ring.) And finally, because the poor, sincere lug was so endearingly nervous (voice breaking, tearing up) that she might turn him down.

Then, how about that lie Natalie told to cover up what happened? (That she was tied up, with earmuffs, and hand-cuffed? Not eligible for the half-million prize? Who was going to buy that?) The remaining three may not be as shrewd as Jeff was (until his final day, that is), but even they saw through her pointless gobbledygook, which only further alienated her one ally, Kevin. Or as he put it, “I bet her name isn’t even Natalie.”

It was hilarious to see Natalie first pout (“Please do not ask me anything more about Pandora’s Box” — she should have added, “because I can’t come up with another lie quickly enough, my brain hurts”), then boast (“You got got by an 18 year-old!” Who cares about this age thing any more?), and finally, make her speeches in putting up Michele and Kevin for eviction. To Kevin: “I just saw three moves in advance and you got duped.” To Michele: “You’re a back-stabber and a liar.” Yes, Natalie, and we all know that kind of player is absolutely unheard-of in Big Brother history and never wins, right?

What a tedious little twisty-tied twerp.

Did you watch? Who do you think will go home during Tuesday’s special live eviction episode?

And: Be sure to check out this charming, revealing exit-interview with Jeff.

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