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Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights already freaking me out

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Universal Studios has announced the attractions for its annual Halloween Horror Nights, which opens Oct. 2. “The most horrifying movies have come to life,” we’re told, in the form of new mazes: “Saw: Game Over” takes you inside Jigsaw’s secret lair with all his “most twisted and infamous traps” and promises that someone in your group will not survive; “Halloween: The Life and Crimes of Michael Myers” leads you through the Myers home, to the Smith’s Grove Sanitarium, and back to Haddonfield and warns that Michael could be around any turn; “My Bloody Valentine: Be Mine 4 Ever!” finds Harry Warden returning to the abandoned mine, now being used as a party site (by you!), on the 10th anniversary of his pickax killing spree — “It’s gonna be a bloody Valentine’s Day!”; and “Chucky’s Funhouse,” where the doll with the serial killer soul tries to earn some respect by taking over an old carnival funhouse and raising an army of Killer Dolls to “take his ultimate revenge on humanity!” Saw is also the inspiration for the new “Terror Tram: Live or Die,” which has Billy, Jigsaw’s messenger of doom, inviting you to play a game on the studio’s backlot: “If even one member of the party doesn’t make it through to the other side, everyone will pay the ultimate price.”

After watching the preview video above, you will not catch me within a five-mile radius of Universal Studios. I appreciate these kind of immersive experiences in theory, but I don’t think I should be allowed back in one. I don’t deal well with people jumping out and touching me, as evidenced by the time I punched a masked high school classmate working at Woodward, PA’s Haunted Cave in the early ’90s. Sorry about that, whoever you were.

What’s the scariest Halloween attraction you’ve witnessed? Are you a screamer, a runner, or a fighter?

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