Without spoiling anything (until after the jump, when I actually spoil EVERYTHING), I’ll just say that Shane Botwin (Alexander Gould), one-time bearer of the nickname Fruit Punch and long ago the voice of Nemo, now shares the refined outdoor recreational tendencies of three Heathers and a Veronica. I’ll also say this: Shane is currently the best character on ‘Weeds.’
After Pilar threatened to have Nancy’s “extraneous” sons killed, Shane clubbed that chick in the head with a croquet mallet! She fell into the pool and the blood just drifted away from her scheme-filled noggin like runny watercolor. It was kind of beautiful, really. This was the best season finale shocker — on Weeds — ever. Hello, Shane couldn’t let Nancy wear only black for the near future. She has so many other clothes. Pilar, you’ll remember, also arranged for the attempted assassination of Nancy that resulted in Shane getting shot in the arm. Basically, she had it coming.
We knew Shane had it in him. Sure, up until season 5, Strange Botwin has been the “good kid” to brother Silas’ derelict, but there was a major role reversal all season — Silas is now a responsible business owner while just last week we saw 14-year-old Shane swill red wine and pull a knife on teenage Spanish-speakers who unwisely chose to use heroin under his roof. The show’s always suggested a dark and dangerous mind beneath Shane’s usually placid exterior. “I’ve got rage in me,” he matter-of-factly told the school therapist after composing this rather threatening bitch-ass white boy “rap.” He bit that kid’s foot in karate class (which, if you think about it, very indirectly makes Shane responsible for Weeds‘ entire post-Agrestic border situation, but let’s not dwell on that; this is supposed to be a glowing review) and does anyone remember when he beheaded a little girl in a homemade terrorism video?
Action-based memories are fun, and there are plenty more, but the essence of Shane comes most alive in the modest form of his trademark silent death-glare (pictured above, awww). Tally up his hundreds of stewing stare sessions and suddenly, finally, WHACK! It was all leading up to this — the little boy who conversed with his dead father, treasured a nudie pic of his mother, and told his graduating class “you have failed us all”would eventually snap, in the most fortuitous (for the Botwins) way possible.
Shane, we salute your badasserie(pronounced “bahhh-doss-ay-REE” by Tyra) and thank you for the last-minute restoration of our faith in Weeds. Since you killed her, they will grow.