I can’t stand people yapping at the movies. It’s rude, self-involved, and pretty much ruins the entire cinema-going experience for everyone. Just shut up and focus on the screen! But I have to make an exception for the guy who sat behind me at a showing of District 9 two weeks ago two and offered a hilarious running commentary before the movie began. He riffed on the inane commercials that play before the trailers, and when he got bored with that, he started pontificating on True Blood — specifically, how stoooopid it is that a bunch of vampires would live in the South. “Too much sun down there! Man, if I were a vampire, I’d keep my ass right here in New York City. Or, I’d move to Alaska!” He delivered these thoughts with such (humorous) conviction that I was tempted to turn around and start up a conversation with him. Soon, though, the lights went down and the trailers began. He didn’t have too much to say about Jennifer’s Body (go figure), but Final Destination 4 (embedded below) kept him mightily inspired.
The close-up on the sharp object at the 0:29 mark elicited a simple, yet perfect “Uh-oh!” Then, at the end of the clip, as one of the film’s stars starts screaming for dear life in the world’s most lethal car wash (1:47), he cracked: “What, she’s gonna get cleaned to death?” Ha! His swift dismissal of the ridiculously over-the-top horror flick made me laugh so hard, I was still gasping for air when District 9‘s opening credits rolled. Oh, and the best part? By then, the dude had simmered right down and didn’t so much as make a peep until the end credits.
Now you, PopWatchers. What memorable tidbits have you overheard at the movies?