I’m going to try to erase the fact that the Yankees have now won five straight against my Sox by focusing the sports quadrant of my brain on my new favorite pastime: Ostrich racing! Tipped off by my pal Mandi Bierly (she’s always up on cool things and/or anything happening on CMT), I tuned in to C. Thomas Howell’s new CMT series All Jacked Up, which highlights all sorts of wild-n-crazy sports, inventions, and people across this freaky land of ours. What did I learn? C. Thomas Howell, a.k.a. ‘Tommy Howell,’ can do an okay Johnny Knoxville impression. Despite being a 40-1 longshot to win an ostrich derby—those birds are fast and unruly—he might have a career as an ostrich jockey. Also, when he gets excited, he busts out lines like, “That’s more fun than pulling your sister’s hair!” (Although I wasn’t cruising eBay for Soul Man posters after watching his blah gig on 24 as Kim’s shrink-turned-boyfriend a few years back, he kinda re-won me over with his role as an unhinged cop on Southland. And he plays it fast and loose again here as host.)
While the ostrich race proved the most entertaining segment, I was amused watching a French dude nicknamed Rollerman introduce Howell to “Buggy Rollin”: Wearing many-wheeled roller suits, they careened down a treacherous canyon road in Malibu that Howell boasted had “more hairpins than Dolly Parton.” Alas, the subsequent bit in which he drove a few tanks, crushed cars, and blew up explosives went for testosterone at the expense of quirk. Bottom line: If Tommy stops restating the name of the show—Everything’s all jacked up! I get it!—I’ll probably tune in next week, when a brave soul attempts to set a world record by jamming a lot of rattlesnakes into his mouth. But what did you think of All Jacked Up’s debut episode (which airs several more times today)? More important, are you pro-Howell?
Photo Credit: Lauren Willems/CMT