Thinking of dressing up for Comic-Con? Do yourself and everyone else a favor: Use this handy guide to determine what might be appropriate. In ascending order of how many hours-per-week you’ll need to spend in the gym to pull off. Brought to you by the Robot Chickenstaff: Mike Fasolo, Douglas Goldstein, Tom Root, Matthew Senreich, Kevin Shinick, Hugh Sterbakov, Zeb Wells.
SITH LORD: All the weight-hiding benefits of a robe with the slimming power of black. A go-to if you tend to force-choke Hot Pockets more often than mouthy Admirals.
DOCTOR DOOM: Your cape gets smaller, but you still have full body coverage. If you can fit in the armor, the sculpted muscles will take care of the rest.
THE JOKER: You’re not going to win any points for originality, but you’re still technically wearing clothes.
SUPERMAN: We’re knocking on the door to spandex territory, but there are two layers over your crotch, and there’s a belt in there somewhere.
SPIDER-MAN: Now we’ve entered Spandex territory and are building a house there. We shouldn’t have to say this, but every crack and crevice will be visible. Proceed with caution.
VAMPIRELLA: Your naughty bits are all covered, but you’re still technically naked in most Southern states.
EMMA FROST: For professional models only, and even then your camel better have very small toes, if you get our drift….
PRINCE NAMOR, THE SUB-MARINER: There’s a reason this guy lives in the water. The only place this outfit would be remotely acceptable is at the beach.
DR. MANHATTAN:If you’ve got the guts, go with God, but remember to take into account the shrinkage you’ll experience when you’re relentlessly tasered by convention security.
(Robot Chicken Season 4.5 premieres on July 26 on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. For more info and updates, go to www.adultswimpresents.com.)