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The bullseye: July 10, 2009

Brooke Shields, Chris Daughtry, and Rupert Grint made pop culture news this week

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HITS
· Not to get overly sentimental, but Brooke Shields‘ eulogy for Michael Jackson was really beautiful.
· Chris Daughtry‘s cover of Lady Gaga’s ”Poker Face” is so good that it’ll make you reconsider the original. Catch it on YouTube.
· Senator Stuart Smalley
· The trailer for Jennifer’s Body stars Megan Fox as a high schooler from hell. Literally.
· Drake seduces us with his breakout single, ”Best I Ever Had.”
· Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Aniston: Wishing that this relationship would work out…

NEAR MISSES
· Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger: … Not particularly rooting for this one
· A track from Whitney Houston‘s new album leaks. Sounds like 1989 procreated with 1994, but we kinda like it anyway.
· The inevitable Lifetime movie in which Nia Vardalos plays Sarah Palin.
· Big Brother begins! Heart pounding with excitement…brain cells committing suicide.

MISSES
· Jon and Kate [Gosselin] spend July 4 together. Remember three weeks ago, when we actually cared about them?
· Janet [Joyce DeWitt] arrested on suspicion of DUI; was reportedly overserved at the Regal Beagle.
· Twitter Anxiety Syndrome: feeling like you should open a Twitter account, but not wanting to.
· Cheeto ”resembling” Michael Jackson gains fame on eBay. Jesus and Elvis Cheetos seethe with envy.
· Rupert [Grint] catches swine flu. Hogwarts shuts down indefinitely.
· T.J. Hooker gets a big-screen remake.
· Kara [DioGuardi] from American Idol gets married: Randy says the ceremony ”was only awright for me, dawg”; Paula gets lost walking to the punch bowl.
· AnnaLynne McCord: Honey, please have a burger. It’s on us.
· Taylor Momsen: You too.

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